You should say these 10 things to your tod­dler more of­ten.

Young Parents (Singapore) - - C NTENTS -

“I love you even though we ar­gue at times.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive Your tod­dler needs to know that you care for her – she never tires of be­ing told that you love her.

This re­as­sures her, makes her feel se­cure and lets her know you love her even though she is chal­leng­ing and con­fronta­tional with you at times.

“You are terric.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive There is noth­ing more likely to boost your child’s self-es­teem than be­ing told by you that she is a won­der­ful per­son, es­pe­cially if she has been de­mand­ing.

Re­mind her of her good qual­i­ties, such as her pleas­ant per­son­al­ity or even her abil­ity to com­plete form boards.

“Your big brother loves you.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive No mat­ter how much they bicker – and that could be a daily oc­cur­rence – she wants to be val­ued by her older sib­ling, so it is up to you to ex­press these thoughts and feel­ings on her brother’s be­half.

“I can see you tried your best.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive Your lit­tle one wants to achieve the tar­gets you set for her, and she prob­a­bly tried very hard to reach her goal. But suc­cess doesn’t al­ways come her way.

Your praise for her ef­fort helps her un­der­stand that although she didn’t achieve what you asked her to do, you’re still pleased that she tried her best.

“Thanks for help­ing me.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive Although your tod­dler doesn’t thank you for the hun­dreds of car­ing acts that you do for her ev­ery­day – she takes it all for granted – your com­ment sets a good ex­am­ple for her to fol­low.

By thank­ing her for her pos­i­tive be­hav­iour, she is more likely to re­cip­ro­cate in the fu­ture.

“That’s amaz­ing.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive Your praise for, say, paint­ing that picture makes her feel im­por­tant, es­pe­cially if you dis­play it on the fridge door.

Your en­thu­si­asm for her achieve­ment in­creases its salience for her. And let her hear you tell your friends and rel­a­tives all about what she did.

“I’m not go­ing to change my mind.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive It teaches your young child that when you tell her she can’t do some­thing, you mean it, no mat­ter how much she com­plains.

If you give in to her when she has a de­mand­ing tantrum, she’ll quickly learn that los­ing her tem­per is a good way to sat­isfy her de­mands.

“I’m sorry, I got it wrong.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive It shows her that you are fal­li­ble. You make mis­takes, just like any­one else. These things hap­pen, and they are not the end of the world.

Telling her you’re sorry is an hon­est ad­mis­sion that en­cour­ages her hon­esty when she makes a mis­take or does some­thing wrong.

“Please do this for me.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive You want your tod­dler to be po­lite, to have good man­ners and to avoid rude be­hav­iour, and one of the best strate­gies to de­velop po­lite­ness is by set­ting a good ex­am­ple your­self.

If you grunt and moan your way through the day, then don’t be sur­prised when she is rude to you.

“I en­joy be­ing with you.”

Why it is ef­fec­tive Your two-year-old might think you don’t like her. Even though she starts the dis­agree­ments with her de­mands and chal­lenges, she still wants you to like her.

So, although you might have a bad morn­ing with her, be sure to end the day with a pos­i­tive com­ment.

Although you might have a bad morn­ing with her, be sure to end the day with a pos­i­tive com­ment.

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