The fancy quirks that irk in modern cars
OPINION/ Hi-tech vehicle features aren’t always as convenient as they purport to be, writes Phuti Mpyane
One of my favourite quotes on perfection goes: “Nobody is perfect, which is why pencils come with erasers.” In light of this truth, we can’t expect that the hundreds of minds involved in designing various aspects of cars to nail it on the head every time, and what works or doesn’t work is a subjective matter. We asked Arena’s motoring journalists to outline what in their minds are automotive boo-boos.
Brenwin Naidu of Sowetan Motoring and Sunday Times Motoring lists haptic plus and minus buttons replacing conventional rotary dials for volume adjustment. Haptic buttons are becoming all the rage in these days of touchscreen displays.
They advance, or at least hope to better, the experience of touching a lifeless screen to give vibrating feedback, which we use as confirmation that a feature has been activated.
It’s a noble idea and should work wonders for the many apps found in new cars. However, many are still too finicky to operate and are not yet ready to compete with a conventional dial or click-button in the matter of raising audio hell.
Audiophile Naidu also lists the phasing out of the compact disc. “I still have a decent collection,” protests Naidu and quite possibly he will find sympathy with those who still possess a rattling collection of CDs rather than a younger generation that has migrated to digital steaming through audio apps or those who are firmly holding on to the USB.
Lastly, Naidu has gripes with MercedesBenz in particular, which insists on mounting its gear selector stalks on the steering column. The traditional space in the centre console worked just fine.
Group motoring editor Denis Droppa has gripes with dual-unlocking central locking systems — those requiring one press of the key fob to open the driver’s door and another click to open the passenger doors/boot.
TIME WASTING
He cites the time wasting of these systems and would prefer just one click to unlock all doors for convenience.
Another of his dislikes is north-orientated satnav maps. “Why is this even an option? It should always be in the direction of travel.”
In some vehicles fitted with satnav systems the default direction is north orientated and requires going through fiddly menus to get the navigation pointing in the actual direction of driving.
Ignition TV producer Shaun Korsten is unhappy with the placement of indicator and windscreen wiper stalks. Trends over the years have seen Eastern brands position indicator stalks on the right hand-side while Europe prefers the left-hand side, resulting in an adjustment for people who constantly hop between different cars, much like motoring journalists.
“There needs to be one decision made as to which side the turn signal goes,” says Korsten, who also has issues with imperfect lane assist systems, especially those that violently nudge a car back into a lane if it straddles markings.
There is an option to switch off the annoying safety item, but thankfully other vehicles have the ability to tailor the response between off, gentle and downright rude.
TimesLive Motoring’s Thomas Falkiner wags a finger at tablet-mimicking infotainment systems.
“Swiping a tablet works just fine when you’re sitting on your sofa looking for the latest in YouTube content.
“Where it doesn’t is in a car, motoring down a highway at speed while trying to change the temperature of the climate control or increase the fan speed,” says Falkiner.
ARTIFICIAL NOISE
He also says artificial engine noises piped through vehicle sound systems is a big no-no. “Everybody is guilty of this one. From Audi and BMW to Renault and Volkswagen, manufacturers the world over have fitted this fakery of the highest order since 2005, with some marques getting it so wrong it feels like you’re driving a PlayStation simulator, not a real car. Expect [electric vehicles] to turn this annoyance up to 11,” he says.
Enormous alloy wheels clad with skinny low-profile tyres are another of his abominations. “They may look awesome and impress your friends but out in real-world driving conditions they prove nothing but a compromise on ride quality and are easily damaged by potholes.”
SMOOTH KEYS
The author’s protests are aimed at smart keys, particularly those with smooth and highly polished surfaces like that which BMW makes for its high-end models.
These fall out of your hands or when you are drawing them out of your pockets. You don’t want to lose a key inside the snug confines of a roadster or directly into a street manhole. Key fobs with rugged surfaces aren’t prone to the inconvenience of a loss.
Also, air conditioning systems integrated into digital menus simply don’t work as effortlessly as conventional rotary switches. In fact, they are downright unsafe. To tailor the temperature of the cabin on the move requires a driver to take their eyes off the road to find and set ideal temperatures.
● What are your modern-car gripes? E-mail the motoring editor at droppad@arena.africa