EFF gets on the ANC’S (scape)goat

Ch­ester Miss­ing

CityPress - - Voices - @chester­miss­ing is the win­ner of the 2014 Comic’s Pen Award and is South Africa’s top puppet po­lit­i­cal an­a­lyst

Th­ese days, if you aren’t ob­nox­iously ab­surd you sim­ply won’t get any at­ten­tion. How does the SABC fire ac­tors who have passed ma­tric but keep a chief op­er­at­ing of­fi­cer who doesn’t? And we all saw team Juju shout­ing “pay back the money”. Yes, the guy who tried not to pay his R16 mil­lion tax bill is de­mand­ing some­one else pays back what he owes. Lucky he al­ready had a pay­ment agree­ment with the rev­enue ser­vice or my la­tex puppet head would have ex­ploded in the hypocrisy vor­tex.

Now we hear Juju might have got his tax money from an il­le­gal cig­a­rette smug­gler: “EFF Lights: burn the white with no fil­ter.” How Julius Malema ac­tu­ally makes money is un­clear be­cause the only thing I am cer­tain he can do well – apart from some ge­nius public speak­ing – is hu­mil­i­ate Pres­i­dent Ja­cob Zuma.

This has left some white peo­ple ex­tremely con­flicted over who to hate.

The DA is com­pletely out of the pub­lic­ity loop in spite of their spy tapes vic­tory. It is days be­fore DA leader He­len Zille sends Mmusi Maimane to Par­lia­ment in blue over­alls – al­though that would be very aparthei­dish. Then again, the DA is try­ing to re­name part of the N1 af­ter an apartheid pres­i­dent – FW de Klerk Boule­vard. This would make sense be­cause a lot of black peo­ple have been killed on it.

Msholozi took charge and went to Rus­sia be­cause when the go­ing gets tough, the tough go into short-term ex­ile. With Juju say­ing “pay back” and Public Pro­tec­tor Thuli Madon­sela say­ing “pay back”, we can be cer­tain ev­ery­one’s favourite Le­sotho di­plo­mats, the Gup­tas, are go­ing to be dodg­ing calls. I am glad the Gup­tas have hooked up with Le­sotho be­cause it’s by far the largest piece of for­eign-owned land in South Africa.

Wait un­til the ANC re­alises Msholozi cre­ated Juju, the Gup­tas and Nkandla. Op­po­si­tion par­ties don’t need to tar­nish the name of Africa’s old­est lib­er­a­tion move­ment, all they need to do is wait. Then, Speaker Baleka Mbete said the pres­i­dent hadn’t been given a chance to re­spond on Nkandla. Baleka, your puppet cre­den­tials are truly spec­tac­u­lar. It’s like the way the pres­i­dent wants the min­is­ter of po­lice to de­cide whether he must do some­thing about Nkandla. Huh?! You gave him his job, Com­rade Fire Pool, now you think he can im­par­tially ad­ju­di­cate against you? Takalani Se­same is go­ing to be su­ing our pres­i­dent for copy­right.

So who is to blame? Be­cause some­one leaked Thuli’s let­ter, some­one ap­proved the Gupta Waterk­loof land­ing and some­one al­lowed Nkandla. We need a min­is­ter of scape­goats. If the ANC re­ally wants to act against the EFF, I sug­gest the party sets up a com­mit­tee full of EFF mem­bers to ad­ju­di­cate the EFF’s behaviour – the way our pres­i­dent han­dles things.

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