Men just want a ‘side dish’

CityPress - - Voices -

Ayanda Msibi Gaut­eng

Peo­ple don’t get mar­ried any more in South Africa and, if they do, they en­ter into a mar­riage where one part­ner is un­faith­ful. I think it has be­come a kind of fash­ion for men to have “side dishes”. All the men I know who are in re­la­tion­ships have “side dishes”, or en­gage in sex­ual ac­tiv­ity with strangers they meet on so­cial net­works and dat­ing sites.

I think this be­hav­iour is very dis­turb­ing and I ask my­self what is go­ing on in a so­ci­ety that al­lows men to live life on the edge, hurt­ing women, break­ing up fam­i­lies and spread­ing sex­u­ally trans­mit­ted dis­eases?

Have our men be­come so sin­gle-minded that they live their lives to sat­isfy their sex­ual de­sires and fan­tasies?

So many women are sin­gle work­ing moth­ers to­day. Men go around mak­ing ba­bies they can’t even sup­port – and sup­port goes be­yond just sign­ing a cheque each month.

Why are women ex­pected to set­tle for these self­ish men who think they can act like they are sin­gle?

As a black woman, I am very dis­ap­pointed with black South African men. We have just be­come their play­things – women who care for them and love them, but get noth­ing ex­cept heartache in re­turn.

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