VIR­GIN­ITY

CityPress - - The Good Guide -

any more, I had to find an­other place to ex­press my­self. I took to Face­book and wrote a long rant, and later said: “I am tired of hav­ing to be in­vis­i­ble. I am tired of my mother run­ning away from the fact that I am gay.” Ar­ro­gantly, I tagged her. She couldn’t run away from that.

The next morn­ing, we had to dis­cuss my Face­book sta­tus. The con­ver­sa­tion was teary. How­ever, so be­gan our long heal­ing process. We had hurt and dis­ap­pointed each other for years.

I taught my mother how to say “I love you, Thabiso” for the first time. It was such a mag­i­cal mo­ment. She asked that I never tell my father. We didn’t know how he would re­act. The fear of be­ing dis­owned by a bread­win­ner hung in the air.

I made a whole lot of mis­takes when com­ing out, ones that could’ve been avoided. Com­ing out to your par­ents via a Face­book sta­tus or tweet is pretty in­sen­si­tive. I wouldn’t en­cour­age it.

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