Siyahleba | The weird world of politics
Stop the arsonist
South Africa’s chief conspiracy theorist, David Mahlobo, went to Parliament this week to regale MPs with tales of plots. And he had a grim warning for Julius Malema, who had threatened violent insurgency.
“Yinkinga uma kunohlanya ekhaya. Uhlanya uma lukhuluma kufuneka ungalenzi lutho. Kodwa uhlanya uma luke lwathatha umentshisi, kuyofuneka ukuba nilubambe ngoba luyoshisa indlu! (If there is a lunatic in your home, you can allow him to blabber and let him be. But if the lunatic gets hold of some matches and starts striking them, you have to nab him before he burns the house!)” ’Nuff said.
Oros has no gun
The ever-expanding Oros Man was at it again this week, trying hard to make himself relevant. Responding to his predecessor’s threats about confronting the ANC through the barrel of a gun, the leader of the ANC Youth League pledged that “whoever wants to fight [President] Zuma, must do so through the [league]”. But because the league does not have weapons, they would be meeting with the same Zuma to ask him to unleash soldiers on the red berets. “We will rely on the state and its machinery to deal with that,” he said. Ehm, that don’t make sense, Oros.
Throw the book
ANC MP JJ Skosana gave the uppity DA a much-needed lesson in constitutionalism this week. He told the blue lot it was wrong to say Zuma “broke the Constitution”, as this meant he broke “the whole book”, whereas he only broke a part of the Constitution. “That is a distortion of the outcome of the [Constitutional Court case]. The court never said the president has broken the Constitution. When you say the Constitution, you are talking about the whole book ... The court has talked about the implementation of the recommendations of the Public Protector. That’s the only part in the Constitution the court spoke about.”