Siyahleba | The weird world of pol­i­tics

CityPress - - Voices -

Stop the ar­son­ist

South Africa’s chief con­spir­acy the­o­rist, David Mahlobo, went to Par­lia­ment this week to re­gale MPs with tales of plots. And he had a grim warn­ing for Julius Malema, who had threat­ened vi­o­lent in­sur­gency.

“Yinkinga uma kunohlanya ekhaya. Uh­lanya uma lukhu­luma ku­fu­neka un­galenzi lutho. Kodwa uh­lanya uma luke lwathatha umentshisi, kuy­ofu­neka ukuba nilubambe ngoba luyoshisa indlu! (If there is a lu­natic in your home, you can al­low him to blab­ber and let him be. But if the lu­natic gets hold of some matches and starts strik­ing them, you have to nab him be­fore he burns the house!)” ’Nuff said.

Oros has no gun

The ever-ex­pand­ing Oros Man was at it again this week, try­ing hard to make him­self rel­e­vant. Re­spond­ing to his pre­de­ces­sor’s threats about con­fronting the ANC through the bar­rel of a gun, the leader of the ANC Youth League pledged that “who­ever wants to fight [Pres­i­dent] Zuma, must do so through the [league]”. But be­cause the league does not have weapons, they would be meet­ing with the same Zuma to ask him to un­leash soldiers on the red berets. “We will rely on the state and its ma­chin­ery to deal with that,” he said. Ehm, that don’t make sense, Oros.

Throw the book

ANC MP JJ Skosana gave the up­pity DA a much-needed les­son in con­sti­tu­tion­al­ism this week. He told the blue lot it was wrong to say Zuma “broke the Con­sti­tu­tion”, as this meant he broke “the whole book”, whereas he only broke a part of the Con­sti­tu­tion. “That is a dis­tor­tion of the out­come of the [Con­sti­tu­tional Court case]. The court never said the pres­i­dent has bro­ken the Con­sti­tu­tion. When you say the Con­sti­tu­tion, you are talk­ing about the whole book ... The court has talked about the im­ple­men­ta­tion of the rec­om­men­da­tions of the Pub­lic Pro­tec­tor. That’s the only part in the Con­sti­tu­tion the court spoke about.”

David Mahlobo

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