The fun side of state capture
Thuli Madonsela’s State of Capture report is a heavy read, but there are some lighthearted moments.
A closer look reveals teenager-like SMSes, and that President Jacob Zuma may be a poor head of state, but at least he taught his children some good manners.
On page 100 of the report is an SMS from deputy finance minister Mcebisi Jonas, the hero of the state capture investigation who was offered the job of finance minister by Ajay Gupta, the report found.
In the SMS to Zuma’s son, Duduzane, who had asked to speak to him to set up a meeting with his Gupta bosses, Jonas texts like a teenager: “Hi Cde. Tried 2 call u.”
Zuma jr responds in the most respectful way on October 22 last year, the day university students marched on Parliament in a #FeesMustFall protest.
“Good morning Sir,” he writes, his private school spelling and manners on display. “I trust that you made it out of the Parliament building unscathed. I tried to call, please return my call when. Kindest Regards, Duduzani (sic).” It is unclear why he spelt his name that way.
In the three SMSes from Duduzane Zuma included in Madonsela’s report, he unfailingly calls Jonas “Sir”, and there are many pleases included.
Meanwhile, with the words: “There’s a shebeen there, two streets away from the Guptas. I will not admit or deny that I’ve gone to the shebeen,” Eskom CEO Brian Molefe set himself up for a massive ridicule fest in the Twitterverse. #SaxonwoldShebeen starting trending late Thursday, shortly after Molefe’s tearful media conference following the release of the report, and the responses were ... let’s just say brutal.
A small selection of tweets:
From Random Awesomeness: Try the #SaxonwoldShebeen new drink ‘the load shedder’ – it’s a shot in the dark. Max du Preez wrote: Weekend special at #SaxonwoldShebeen: Crocodile Tears on ice with a dash of Thuli Juice.
Another wag wrote: #TearsOfaCEO – #SaxonwoldShebeen is the #firepool equivalent. Things that are probable but in reality don’t exist.
And another: SaxonwoldShebeen @StateShebeen – Remember: Friday nights are BYOFM nights (Bring Your Own Finance Minister) only at the #SaxonwoldShebeen.
Robert de Niro, eat your heart out. Brian Molefe is the new man in town