Ny­at­sis’ FAB Xmas

Blessers may jol dur­ing the year, but Christmas is strictly for the wife and fam­ily – leav­ing many side-chicks mak­ing other plans. City Press spoke to a few

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“Spend­ing time away from my blesser this fes­tive sea­son won’t be too bad. I won’t be lonely, even though he will be un­avail­able,” says Mabota (24).

Her blesser, a prom­i­nent busi­ness­man, has ar­ranged an over­seas get­away for her and two of her clos­est friends. She tells City Press that she told him a while ago of her de­sire to en­joy a white Christmas and see grand fes­tive sea­son dis­plays, like the ones she used to see on TV as a child. Now he has made it hap­pen for her. “He came to my apart­ment with flow­ers in one hand and a wrapped, suit­cas­e­sized gift in the other. I fum­bled through the blos­soms and found an en­ve­lope with three first-class flight tick­ets to Lon­don. I was over­joyed!” she gushes.

Mabota says she has come to terms with the fact that her boyfriend has a fam­ily and will be too pre­oc­cu­pied to spend time with her this fes­tive sea­son.

“My bank ac­count re­flects my mood, so as long as it is loaded, I am happy,” she says.

How­ever, she ad­mits to hav­ing ini­tially had is­sues with their ar­range­ment be­cause she doesn’t get to spend as much time with him as she would like. Mabota lives in the hope that one day they will be to­gether and that she will be the num­ber one woman in his life.

“Hav­ing a lot of money and be­ing able to buy any­thing you want or go­ing away on hol­i­day at a mo­ment’s no­tice is great, but the re­al­ity is that those things won’t keep you warm at night,” she says.


Pop­u­lar blessee Cele (27) has ac­cepted the fact that she will be spend­ing Christmas alone. Hail­ing from Um­lazi in Dur­ban, she says spend­ing the fes­tive sea­son with­out her blesser doesn’t bother her at all.

Ac­cus­tomed to a monthly al­lowance of up to R20 000 to pay the rent for her flat and buy hand­bags and shoes from high-end fash­ion stores such as Louis Vuit­ton, she says he dou­bles his De­cem­ber pay­ment.

“It’s non­nego­tiable — he knows that very well. As long as I am loaded, I’m fine,” she says.

Ev­ery De­cem­ber, she finds her­self with at least R40 000 in her ac­count.

“I don’t get a bonus dur­ing the year — this is it for me,” she says.

On top of her “dou­ble al­lowance” at the end of the year, in terms of their ar­range­ment, her blesser also has to book her a hol­i­day. She doesn’t have any­where spe­cific in mind this year.

“I’m not picky. It doesn’t mat­ter whether he has booked us a hol­i­day in Cape Town or Dur­ban, as long as ev­ery­thing is paid for and my fam­ily and I sim­ply have to turn up,” she says.

Last year, Cele was dat­ing two blessers, but one of them was forced to break up with her.

“After his wife found out about our re­la­tion­ship, we had no choice but to call it quits,” she ex­plains.

Over the years, she has de­vel­oped an un­der­stand­ing with her blessers that they do not text or call each other dur­ing the fes­tive sea­son to al­low for space to spend time with fam­ily.

“But my blesser knows that I want him back in Jan­uary — he is mine!” she says.


By the age of 35, Mdima imag­ined that she would be a wife and a mother of two, liv­ing in a man­sion in north­ern Jo­han­nes­burg. She saw her­self en­ter­tain­ing her in-laws from Lim­popo and show­cas­ing her culi­nary skills dur­ing the Christmas hol­i­days. In­stead, ev­ery De­cem­ber, Mdima finds her­self look­ing after her eight-year-old son and his rowdy cousins at her mother’s place in Ntuzuma, north of Dur­ban. Al­though the house is al­ways buzzing with joy and laugh­ter, she does not en­joy the at­mos­phere – be­cause her heart and mind are fix­ated on her lover, who goes on hol­i­day with his wife and chil­dren. “While my fam­ily are hav­ing fun, I ob­sess about what he is do­ing. Is he hav­ing fun with his wife, whom he claims he no longer loves? Or, is he think­ing about me, but is left with no op­tion but to con­tinue with the façade of the mar­riage to please his mother?” Mdima says. It does not mat­ter how much she misses him, she adds. “The golden rule was, and still is, that Christmas or Easter hol­i­days be­long to him and his fam­ily, and any com­mu­ni­ca­tion from my side is pro­hib­ited. “He prefers that I go home to KwaZulu-Natal for the hol­i­days; he prob­a­bly thinks it will pre­vent me from try­ing to con­tact him,” she says. Two years ago, Mdima (36) de­cided to spend her hol­i­days in her apart­ment in Four­ways in Jo­han­nes­burg, hop­ing that her man would be able to sneak out of the house for a stolen mo­ment with her. But it didn’t hap­pen. In­stead, she spent a bleak Christmas alone and ended up tak­ing the first flight to Dur­ban the next day. Mdima, a con­tent man­ager at a pub­lish­ing com­pany in Sand­ton, told City Press: “For any mis­tress, Christmas is the most dif­fi­cult time of the year. “I would be ly­ing if I said I didn’t want to wake up on Christmas Day next to my man, with our kids fight­ing over their new toys. But I have made peace with the fact that it will never hap­pen – at least, not with him. He will never leave his wife, de­spite his al­leged un­happy mar­riage.” Mdima has been in her cur­rent re­la­tion­ship for about five years. “Not see­ing him dur­ing the hol­i­days was easy for the first two years, but it is be­com­ing dif­fi­cult now. “I guess I have fallen in love with him and some­how hope he will do right by me and leave his wife — as he has promised to do all along,” she said. *Not her real name

TALK TO US Do you know any side-chicks who are go­ing to be hav­ing a fab­u­lous Christmas this year? Tell us their sto­ries

SMS us on 35697 us­ing the key­word BLESSEE and tell us what you think. Please in­clude your name and prov­ince. SMSes cost R1.50


Amanda Cele

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