Side of Sona

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If you were watch­ing the open­ing of Par­lia­ment on Thurs­day night, you would be for­given for think­ing the go­ings-on there would have been hi­lar­i­ous – if they were tak­ing place in an­other coun­try.

To al­le­vi­ate our col­lec­tive de­pres­sion, City Press has asked the co­me­di­ans star­ring in to­mor­row’s fifth episode of Com­edy Cen­tral’s Roast Bat­tle for their take on the pro­ceed­ings. Be­cause we all need a lit­tle laugh.

Devin Gray said if he were to roast #Sona2017, “gotta add the hash­tag, it’s im­por­tant”, he would deal with it the same way he would deal with the traf­fic. “Avoid it at all costs. How­ever, I must say that it was very ex­cit­ing to walk through Cape Town city cen­tre and ac­tu­ally have a po­lice pres­ence for a change,” he said.

“I at­tempted to watch the speech, but Pres­i­dent Ja­cob Zuma made the en­tire thing feel longer than the month of Jan­uary. “Amer­i­can pol­i­tics have noth­ing on us, we take this whole thing to the next level. I was wait­ing for some­one to jump up and say, ‘Cash me ouss­side, how bow dah!’”

Ked­i­bone Mu­laudzi said: “Sona2017? More like Soea2017. Why would you de­ploy 441 sol­diers? It’s the state of emer­gency ad­dress 2017.

“That was Sona2017. It was pretty hot and sweaty on the podium of the pres­i­dent. And the 441 bounc­ers en­sured that no one dis­turbed the peace,” he said. “Sona2017 was like an episode of Our Per­fect Wed­ding and Julius Malema was the bit­ter ex who was promised a wed­ding by the groom, who made sure the 441 se­cu­rity guards en­sured that the ex didn’t dis­turb the vows.” War­ren Robert­son said that South Africa was in “such a mess they should start call­ing it ‘look at the state of the na­tion’”. “Julius Malema used to love Ja­cob Zuma so much he said he would die for him. Now no one hates Zuma more than the Eco­nomic Free­dom Fighters. Sona is ba­si­cally a Tay­lor Swift al­bum,” he said.

Lun­gelo Ndlovu, how­ever, likened Sona to a Bafana Bafana match.

“The whole coun­try watches with great an­tic­i­pa­tion, but in the end, no­body ever says, ‘Ye­ses bru, that was a great re­sult!’” he said.

“Hav­ing dis­rup­tions and ask­ing ques­tions while the pres­i­dent is de­liv­er­ing his Sona is like draw­ing on eye­brows; it’s un­nec­es­sary.”

Thabiso Mh­longo had an al­to­gether dif­fer­ent take on things. “I have to hand it to Julius. I have tried to get out of writ­ing ex­ams be­fore, but start­ing a fight in Par­lia­ment def­i­nitely takes the cake,” he said. Watch the Roast Bat­tle to­mor­row at 9pm on Com­edy Cen­tral

(DStv chan­nel 122)

Ked­i­bone Mu­laudzi

Thabiso Mh­longo

War­ren Robert­son

Lun­gelo Ndlovu

Devin Gray

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