SEX

Get yours while re­spect­ing your folks’ men­tal health

Cosmopolitan (South Africa) - - GOOD ADVICE - THE SIT­U­A­TION THE SIT­U­A­TION THE SIT­U­A­TION THE SIT­U­A­TION

You’re on a first date. How do you di­vulge that you live with your par­ents?

YOUR PLAN Don’t lie about your ar­range­ment – but no need to ad­ver­tise it ei­ther, says re­la­tion­ship ex­pert An­drea Syr­tash, au­thor of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing). ‘If it does come up, say, “I’m back at home so I can save a bit of money.”’ Be can­did but not de­fen­sive. And re­mem­ber that any­one who splits be­cause of where you live is not ac­tu­ally worth your time.

You’ve been see­ing some­one for a few weeks but haven’t yet mentioned your, um, older roommates.

YOUR PLAN At some point, he’ll swing by your place – and won­der how you can af­ford a house. It’s time to come clean with specifics. Say: ‘Just FYI, I’m stay­ing at home for a few months to help pay off my debts.’ Adding a time frame helps to em­pha­sise that it’s tem­po­rary, says re­la­tion­ships ex­pert Dr Mike Dow, au­thor of The Brain Fog Fix.

You want to take a hot­tie home but it’s not to­tally your home…

YOUR PLAN As tempt­ing as it may be to sneak him in (and out), you’re bet­ter off avoid­ing onenight-stand smug­gling. ‘Even though you’re an adult, you still have to be mind­ful of your par­ents’ bound­aries,’ says Syr­tash. ‘Find an al­ter­na­tive – go to his place, or play teenager by get­ting it on in the back seat of your car.’ Brought him back any­way – and got caught? Apol­o­gise right away, and prom­ise it won’t hap­pen again.

It’s awk­ward AF when your part­ner spends the night.

YOUR PLAN First, ask your par­ents how you can re­spect their space. ‘But in­stead of start­ing with your needs, be­gin by invit­ing their feed­back,’ says Syr­tash. Try, ‘How would you feel if [your part­ner’s name] stayed over ev­ery once in a while?’ TBH, Mom and Pops may not want to be con­fronted with the fact that their lit­tle girl has a sex life. But a ma­ture con­ver­sa­tion can help drive home the point that you’ve grown up. Then be sure to tell them in ad­vance when your man will be vis­it­ing. ■

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