Get yours while respecting your folks’ mental health
You’re on a first date. How do you divulge that you live with your parents?
YOUR PLAN Don’t lie about your arrangement – but no need to advertise it either, says relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing). ‘If it does come up, say, “I’m back at home so I can save a bit of money.”’ Be candid but not defensive. And remember that anyone who splits because of where you live is not actually worth your time.
You’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks but haven’t yet mentioned your, um, older roommates.
YOUR PLAN At some point, he’ll swing by your place – and wonder how you can afford a house. It’s time to come clean with specifics. Say: ‘Just FYI, I’m staying at home for a few months to help pay off my debts.’ Adding a time frame helps to emphasise that it’s temporary, says relationships expert Dr Mike Dow, author of The Brain Fog Fix.
You want to take a hottie home but it’s not totally your home…
YOUR PLAN As tempting as it may be to sneak him in (and out), you’re better off avoiding onenight-stand smuggling. ‘Even though you’re an adult, you still have to be mindful of your parents’ boundaries,’ says Syrtash. ‘Find an alternative – go to his place, or play teenager by getting it on in the back seat of your car.’ Brought him back anyway – and got caught? Apologise right away, and promise it won’t happen again.
It’s awkward AF when your partner spends the night.
YOUR PLAN First, ask your parents how you can respect their space. ‘But instead of starting with your needs, begin by inviting their feedback,’ says Syrtash. Try, ‘How would you feel if [your partner’s name] stayed over every once in a while?’ TBH, Mom and Pops may not want to be confronted with the fact that their little girl has a sex life. But a mature conversation can help drive home the point that you’ve grown up. Then be sure to tell them in advance when your man will be visiting. ■