Con­fi­dence #Goals

Cosmopolitan (South Africa) - - FROM THE EDITOR -

‘Iwas not al­ways as con­fi­dent as I am to­day. Some­times – in fact, most times – I still have to fake it un­til I feel it.’ The words of our cover star Ayanda Thabethe ring true in my ears as I write this, my very first ed­i­tor’s let­ter. Con­fi­dence is some­thing we all strug­gle with. It can crip­ple you – but it can also help you score the job of your dreams and com­mand the recog­ni­tion you’ve worked so hard to get.

Re­cently, some­one asked me what be­ing a girl boss means to me. It got me think­ing about this word, con­fi­dence. I re­mem­ber when the book Girl Boss by Sophia Amoruso first came out, and the sub­se­quent spawn­ing of the self-made dream and all the con­no­ta­tions that came with it. Killing it with your In­sta­gram game? Girl boss. Slay­ing your own side hus­tle? Girl boss. Coin­ing it with brand en­dorse­ments? Ka-ching. Girl boss.

What­ever hap­pened to the good old 9-to-5? There’s cer­tainly no shame in that. In fact, there are many more ways to en­joy a fan­tas­tic ca­reer (and life) than are be­ing fi ltered through the prism of #girl­boss. I chal­lenge you to set aside the per­ceived stan­dards of be­ing a girl boss and make up some of your own. You don’t have to be a boss. You can sim­ply be what you are and what you en­joy. Some­times that’s lean­ing in – to get your busi­ness idea off the ground or to ask for a raise. Other times, it’s lean­ing against the fridge door won­der­ing how much ice cream is left. For me, it means be­ing the boss of my­self – be­ing au­then­tic and be­ing un­apolo­getic about it.

I read some­thing that res­onated with this. A so­cial-stud­ies pro­fes­sor wrote that the se­cret to true con­fi­dence is to ‘get out of this feel­ing that you have to be per­fect’. If we’re con­stantly fi xated on cu­rat­ing an idea of per­fec­tion, we’ll never get around to do­ing what we ac­tu­ally want to do.

Real self-con­fi­dence comes from know­ing your­self. It’s a re­al­i­sa­tion that sings to the tune of our cover star’s words: ‘As you come into your own aware­ness and live in that light even just for a mo­ment, you re­alise that what’s al­ways held you back is your­self, and that the things you’re most afraid of are just ex­pe­ri­ences wait­ing for you to face and con­quer them in your own im­per­fect way.’

Think big, dream al­ways, live in to­day.

Holly Mead­ows Ed­i­tor holly@as­soc­me­

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