Cosmopolitan (South Africa) - - COVER STAR -

Bella*, 29, pressed pause on her sex life to find the right guy

‘I used to go on at least two dates a week, but most of the guys I met only wanted one thing – sex. I’d go on three or four dates with the same guy, but af­ter hav­ing sex, they’d just ghost me or slowly fade me out.

‘I’ve never had much luck with men, to be hon­est. I lost my vir­gin­ity at 17 to a douchebag in the back seat of his dad’s car. It was a really bad ex­pe­ri­ence and he dumped me the next day. I’ve had two re­la­tion­ships since then and many hookups, but I never found a guy who wanted to be with me for more than a few months.

‘Af­ter my last one-night stand, I de­cided I wasn’t go­ing to let my­self have any more un­emo­tional sex. The next time would be with some­one who loves me enough that he’s willing to put a ring on it. I took a few months out from dat­ing to spend time on my­self, and just fo­cused on do­ing things that make me happy, like read­ing and brunching with friends. Most of my friends were shocked when I told them, say­ing it was “so old-fash­ioned”, but they’ve come around to sup­port me. It was hard to go back into the dat­ing game and tell guys that I’m wait­ing for mar­riage, but it helped me weed out those who were just in­ter­ested in my body from the rest. I’ve now found a man who is happy to wait. I’ve never been hap­pier.’

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