Satisfy Your Sexual Hunger
Sploshing: sounds kinda gross, but it can actually be really sexy. It’s the act of playing with food to arouse your (and your partner’s) carnal appetite. But before you start hauling groceries into bed, know that only certain types of food are pleasure-inducing. Others are just a straight-up mess – or even hazardous. Then there’s the golden rule of frisky food play: safe sustenance can go all over the body but almost never inside the vagina, where it could cause infection, says gynaecologist Alyssa Dweck, coauthor of The Complete A To Z For Your V. Follow this guide to naughty nibbles.
Eff Yes! Chocolate sauce
A drizzle makes naked skin taste sinful, and it contains phenylethylamine, a compound that’s linked to dopamine, which is a chemical your brain releases when you’re in love. Have your partner spread some on your breasts and lap it up, suggests sexologist Susan Block.
Eating the tart tropical fruit several hours before sex can sweeten the taste of your (and bae’s) sexual fluids, says Block. And sharing a piece during a morning make-out can mask any less-arousing flavours.
Oh, look: your own melty phallus! Drive bae crazy by teasing what’s to come. Suck on the icy stick, then rub the tip against your nipples, stimulating your own pleasure. Trail the cold lolly along his penis before taking him in your mouth. The quick temperature shift can push his climax to new heights.
‘It is full of vitamins E and B, which can increase your energy later,’ says sex and relationship therapist Megan Fleming. (So, ideal for round two!) Place a slice on your lips, neck, collarbone, breasts and inner thighs, and ask your mate to eat up while going down.
The slippery stuff has a consistency similar to vaginal fluid, so it can act as a natural lubricant. Slather some on his shaft and stroke him with your hand. (Penis colada, anyone?) If a little gets inside you, that’s okay: coconut oil may be the one food that doesn’t wreak vag havoc, says Dweck. Just don’t use it with a latex condom, which could break.
Hell, No! Grapefruit
The grapefruit BJ – immortalised by Tiffany Haddish’s character in Girls Trip – involves cutting a hole in the citrus fruit, then sliding it (along with your mouth) up and down his penis. The technique went viral online, but IRL it’s not so hot. The juices can cause a painful burning sensation in a guy’s urethra. ‘Steer clear,’ says Dweck.
Although cucumbers and carrots may seem like cheap sex-toy alternatives, never rub them around or inside your vagina. There’s likely bacteria on the surface that can cause an infection. ‘There are enough amazing vibrators available that you shouldn’t need a vegetable,’ says Dweck.
The spice is a desiccant, which means it dries tissue quickly. If it gets on your vulva or in your V, it could cause irritation or inflammation. Keep it away from your guy’s urethra too: ‘Putting cinnamon in any orifice other than the mouth is not advised,’ says Dweck.
Be like Bey and keep some in your bag – but make sure it stays there. Spicy chilli sauce can burn skin and cause very unpleasant internal and external irritation for both of you. It’s an absolute no-no in the bedroom. ■