LIVE BY EXAMPLE
I commend DRUM on the article about alternatives to spanking your child (When you don’t want to spank, 19 October). As a pastor I’ve observed with horror the force of mothers beating their children. Many mothers think they’re doing the right thing by “disciplining” their children.
The word “discipline” has the same root as the word “disciple” and should never mean physical punishment. If we want to win our children as disciples, there’s only one way: to live by example.
I’ve often heard from wise elders that in the past African children were not hit or even smacked. A call to decolonise the way we raise our children would, indeed, be healing for our nation.
If a boy is hit by the person who loves him most, his mother, what does he learn? He learns that love and physical hurt belong together. And the girl? One day she might accept being hit by her lover as she’s learnt there’s a connection.
The cycle of violence in our society starts with the way we raise our children. We need many more articles like this! REVEREND NOBUNTU-RENATE COCHRANE, HOUT BAY
I’ve always felt corporal punishment is something to be done sparingly, only in extreme cases in schools or at home.
In Proverbs it’s said: “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”
Don’t get me wrong! I completely agree with that statement from the word of God but only if it’s rightfully administered. People use the rod to vent their frustrations on the child so the child’s first reaction is fear and retreat or even lashing out.
Consequently, the child might not be able to thrive as a person and could find it difficult to deal with situations.
Who knows? They might end up doing the bullying as they wouldn’t be able to trust anyone. I agree somewhat with what King Goodwill Zwelithini was quoted as saying, but it should be administered the correct way and not with belts or negative connotations.
Parenting coach Andalene Salvesen has a point too when he says, “Your children have to learn that their choices determine their consequences.”
It’s better to sit down and talk with the child and explain the consequences of their actions and give them opportunities to learn from their mistakes. DHANALUTCHMEE MOOTYEN, EMAIL