DRUM - - Advice -

I’m a 50-year-old woman with one son. I dated a guy at school un­til 1991 when he ended the re­la­tion­ship. I later found an­other man and be­came preg­nant, but we sep­a­rated af­ter two years. In 1996 the first guy came back into my life and we dated again un­til 1998, when he just stopped call­ing. Once again I gave up on him and moved on with my life. Now he’s back and to­day we are to­gether. I love this guy but I’m not sure where we are go­ing. What do you think? CON­FUSED, SMS The sit­u­a­tion you’re in now shows why it’s nec­es­sary to find clo­sure in a re­la­tion­ship be­fore mov­ing on to the next one. You’ve left the door open too many times for this man and now he’s tak­ing ad­van­tage of you. He does this dis­ap­pear­ing act with­out for­mally end­ing your re­la­tion­ship so he can walk in and out of your life as he pleases. But it’s not healthy for you and you shouldn’t al­low it. Sit him down and talk about it. He needs to tell you if he’s back per­ma­nently or if this is just an­other phase and he’s likely to dis­ap­pear again. Don’t al­low him to use you – you’re worth more than that.

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