TALK TO LINKY:
My name is Rose .I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have a baby girl age 3 .My partner and were doing fine before I had a baby with him but now he spends less time at home and he complains about my weight gain most the time. We used to go out every Friday spending quality time together but the tables have turned. I know he loves and respect me a lot but I can’t help it that he so cold and distant. I don’t know if should break up with him or accept the situation as it is.
Honesty is vitally important in any type of relationship. Your partner is not complaining about your weight, but making you aware that you are gaining weight, which is honesty. People have a whole list of expectations when they are going into relationships. It’s normal, but you can’t get everything you wish to have. You’ve mentioned that the guy loves you and respect you, perhaps that’s what he can afford to give you. Appreciate what he does for you. Spending less time doesn’t necessarily mean he loves less now, he is human he has other things to attend to. Remember the baby girl is an additional responsibility to him, so he needs to spend more time hustling. Be pretty, love and most importantly respect him. You give him respect you’ll always have him on your side. Keep this in mind: Men interpret respect as love.
CONNECT WITH LINKY FOR YOUR ADVISE. EMPOWEREDYOUTHMAG@OUTLOOK.COM OR INBOX HER ON FACEBOOK (MABATHO LINKY MOCHEUDI)
My name is Thato and I am 38 years of age. I am struggling to get over what happened between myself and my ex-wife. I started dating her when we were in standard 10, now known as Grade 12 and got married 3 years later. We were so in love! I got a job a year after I paid lobola and had two kids. As a man I thought about the future of my family and decided to take my wife to school to study nursing. Even after school, I assisted her to find a job. After she got the job, she started cheating with one of her colleagues .It really hurt me when I found out to an extent that I had to quit my job because I was not coping. I moved out and went back to my mother’s house. I started a small business but I’m still stressed, please help. I don’t think she ever loved me, I believe she just wanted to use me.
You say that you started dating at an early age when you were in high school and you are 38 years of age now, hence you have probably been together for about 20 years. Nobody would stay in a relationship for that long while they don’t love their partners, especially in the new millennium. What you should understand is that things change so do people. I would advise you to go back to her, sit her down and ask where you went wrong. I believe there were things she lacked in the relationship and there was no sufficient communication. Be open to her, first start with the things you lacked from her so that she can feel free to say what she lacked from you. Twenty years is a lot of years and I don’t think you can afford to throw that down the drain. That is why you are stressed. The guy she is cheating with is probably giving just one simple thing that you failed to give her and don’t have any intentions of marrying her with two kids. Just accept what happened, forgive her and communicate with her .Remember, you break communication, and you break the relationship.