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Empowered Youth Magazine - - CONTENTS: - LINKY MOCHEUDI

Dear Linky

My name is Rose .I’ve been in a re­la­tion­ship with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have a baby girl age 3 .My part­ner and were do­ing fine be­fore I had a baby with him but now he spends less time at home and he com­plains about my weight gain most the time. We used to go out ev­ery Fri­day spend­ing qual­ity time to­gether but the ta­bles have turned. I know he loves and re­spect me a lot but I can’t help it that he so cold and dis­tant. I don’t know if should break up with him or ac­cept the sit­u­a­tion as it is.

Dear Rose

Hon­esty is vi­tally im­por­tant in any type of re­la­tion­ship. Your part­ner is not com­plain­ing about your weight, but mak­ing you aware that you are gain­ing weight, which is hon­esty. Peo­ple have a whole list of ex­pec­ta­tions when they are go­ing into re­la­tion­ships. It’s nor­mal, but you can’t get ev­ery­thing you wish to have. You’ve men­tioned that the guy loves you and re­spect you, per­haps that’s what he can af­ford to give you. Ap­pre­ci­ate what he does for you. Spend­ing less time doesn’t nec­es­sar­ily mean he loves less now, he is hu­man he has other things to at­tend to. Re­mem­ber the baby girl is an ad­di­tional re­spon­si­bil­ity to him, so he needs to spend more time hus­tling. Be pretty, love and most im­por­tantly re­spect him. You give him re­spect you’ll al­ways have him on your side. Keep this in mind: Men in­ter­pret re­spect as love.

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Dear Linky

My name is Thato and I am 38 years of age. I am strug­gling to get over what hap­pened between my­self and my ex-wife. I started dat­ing her when we were in stan­dard 10, now known as Grade 12 and got mar­ried 3 years later. We were so in love! I got a job a year af­ter I paid lobola and had two kids. As a man I thought about the fu­ture of my fam­ily and de­cided to take my wife to school to study nurs­ing. Even af­ter school, I as­sisted her to find a job. Af­ter she got the job, she started cheat­ing with one of her col­leagues .It re­ally hurt me when I found out to an ex­tent that I had to quit my job be­cause I was not cop­ing. I moved out and went back to my mother’s house. I started a small busi­ness but I’m still stressed, please help. I don’t think she ever loved me, I be­lieve she just wanted to use me.

Dear Thato

You say that you started dat­ing at an early age when you were in high school and you are 38 years of age now, hence you have prob­a­bly been to­gether for about 20 years. No­body would stay in a re­la­tion­ship for that long while they don’t love their part­ners, es­pe­cially in the new mil­len­nium. What you should un­der­stand is that things change so do peo­ple. I would ad­vise you to go back to her, sit her down and ask where you went wrong. I be­lieve there were things she lacked in the re­la­tion­ship and there was no suf­fi­cient com­mu­ni­ca­tion. Be open to her, first start with the things you lacked from her so that she can feel free to say what she lacked from you. Twenty years is a lot of years and I don’t think you can af­ford to throw that down the drain. That is why you are stressed. The guy she is cheat­ing with is prob­a­bly giv­ing just one sim­ple thing that you failed to give her and don’t have any in­ten­tions of mar­ry­ing her with two kids. Just ac­cept what hap­pened, for­give her and com­mu­ni­cate with her .Re­mem­ber, you break com­mu­ni­ca­tion, and you break the re­la­tion­ship.

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