life HACKS

These nifty know-hows will give you more time for the things you love – like sausage dogs on In­sta­gram...

Fairlady - - TRICK OR TWEAK - By Lar­raine Sathicq

HOW TO HELP A FRIEND IN NEED

As most ther­a­pists or life coaches will con­firm, some­times help doesn’t al­ways, well, help – but em­pa­thy will: When they’re stressed out: Ask them to talk more about what’s go­ing on, and val­i­date their feel­ings. Sug­gest a walk to let off some ner­vous en­ergy or a movie for dis­trac­tion, but make it clear that you will fol­low their lead. When they’re se­ri­ously ill: We’ve prob­a­bly all been a lit­tle guilty of this at some point: we don’t know what to say, so we say noth­ing. What your friend needs is an open­ing to talk, like: ‘You must be so scared.’ Of­fer prac­ti­cal sup­port, like do­ing the shop­ping.

Most im­por­tantly, con­tinue to check in on them. Take note of their med­i­cal ap­point­ments and check in to see how these con­sul­ta­tions went. When they’ve lost their job: Con­tact them straight away, and em­pathise. Ask ques­tions, like ‘What do you think you’ll do now?’ Avoid easy re­as­sur­ances; they mean noth­ing, es­pe­cially now. When they’ve lost some­one

close to them: This is the other cir­cum­stance we tend to avoid. Be brave: con­tact them im­me­di­ately to say you’re sorry to hear the news. If you knew the per­son, tell your friend how much you liked him or her. If you didn’t, ask about them. When­ever ap­pro­pri­ate, rem­i­nisce, and cel­e­brate the happy mem­o­ries. Make a note of the an­niver­sary of the per­son’s death and birth­day, and con­tact your friend lead­ing up to these days.

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