YOUR SAY

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Choos­ing mother­hood

Lau­ren Clark’s road to mother­hood [June 2018} is al­most ex­actly like mine, with a few dif­fer­ences. I was near­ing 40, with no hint of set­tling down. My mom was the in­sti­ga­tor – she spoke to all my friends to get their buy-in be­fore ap­proach­ing me! Although I had a few friends who were will­ing to make a ‘do­na­tion’, I chose an anony­mous donor and went for in­trauter­ine in­sem­i­na­tion (IUI).

The first three at­tempts didn’t work, so I ‘fired’ the donor. The next donor was per­fect – I found out I was preg­nant in Oc­to­ber 2010 and some­how I just knew it was a lit­tle girl.

I gave birth on 15 June 2011, with my mother and sis­ter in the the­atre. I gave my daugh­ter my mom’s name, Co­bie. She’s happy and con­tent, and when she asks about a dad, I tell her the truth: I prayed and God gave me a mir­a­cle. The sup­port I have from my fam­ily and friends is amaz­ing. I moved back home and am a full-time mom, for now. My daugh­ter has strong male role mod­els; she talks about her dads.

My mom passed away three years ago but I’m so blessed that she met Co­bie. I see so much of her in my daugh­ter: her looks, her sass, her style. Co­bie gave my dad pur­pose af­ter my mom’s pass­ing. He now has the re­spon­si­bil­ity of help­ing to raise a lit­tle madam.

Since I made the leap, three women have con­tacted me say­ing they also want to do it. I say go for it! It just goes to show: where there is a will, there is a way!

Rhoda Eras­mus

Ed: I love the idea that your mum in­sti­gated the en­tire process!

The joy of giv­ing

I’m the type of per­son who cries while watch­ing TV, whether it’s a happy or sad movie, tragic events on a news chan­nel or dur­ing a na­tional an­them at the Olympics. But I gen­er­ally man­age to keep my emo­tions in­side when read­ing.

Un­til I read ‘Giv­ing is the New Re­ceiv­ing’ [June 2018] and got to the story about the boy who fully ex­pected to die af­ter do­nat­ing blood to his sis­ter. What a self­less spirit! Thank you for that ar­ti­cle.

Hanni Ba­z­ley

Ed: That story al­ways makes me weep… I think it’s the bit about him ask­ing for a day to con­sider it, then still agree­ing to do it.

Not a morn­ing per­son

I loved read­ing about Liesl Robertson’s ef­forts to switch to be­ing a morn­ing per­son [‘Can you train your­self to be a morn­ing per­son?’, July 2018]. I’m 60 – and not a morn­ing per­son. I can be awake at 11pm to 3am, but not vol­un­tar­ily at 5am. My hus­band is that morn­ing per­son. He falls asleep at about 10pm and is awake at five.

Could it have to do with our time of con­cep­tion, or birth? Per­haps our bi­o­log­i­cal clocks start at that time? Even in our cave years, some­one had to stand watch while the morn­ing peo­ple slept!

El­sje Meyer

Ed: Don’t give up, El­sje: I tran­si­tioned into a morn­ing per­son in my late thir­ties – although hav­ing small kids prob­a­bly meant I had no choice!

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