GO BIG, OR GO TO DUBAI

While the thought of a Zuma amnesty may make you want to run for the hills, The Big Mouth may give you a rea­son — or 105 of them — to stay

Financial Mail - - FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY JUSTICE MALALA - @jus­tice­malala

Is it a se­ri­ous thing that Jacob “See You In Dubai” Zuma may get some sort of amnesty to go off to some hot clime and sip piña co­ladas while we clean up his mess? I mean, re­ally?

City Press news­pa­per re­ported last week­end that there is talk cir­cu­lat­ing within the ANC about an amnesty for Zuma. It quoted ANC pres­i­den­tial hope­ful Lindiwe Sisulu say­ing amnesty has al­ways been part of the ANC’S DNA.

“He [Zuma] will be for­given as long as he tells the truth and is able to com­mit to work­ing with ev­ery­body and to en­sur­ing that we can re­verse some of the prob­lems that we are ex­pe­ri­enc­ing — and also to en­sur­ing that those peo­ple who are so strongly at­tached to him are back in the fold,” she said.

Oh? So for Sisulu it doesn’t seem to mat­ter that he may have stolen bil­lions from poor South Africans. If it unites the ANC, he should get a free pass. For­get about the Dubai mil­lions. Amaz­ing.

Say Zuma gets a par­don. Then what about Atul Gupta? Or Duduzane Zuma? Or Brian Molefe and Anoj Singh or those nice folks at Tril­lian Cap­i­tal? The Premier League, any­one?

There are thou­sands of thugs with their snouts in the trough. That’s why no one is even writ­ing whinge­ing let­ters to the Fi­nan­cial Mail edi­tor about this col­umn. They are too busy chomp­ing away to read this hum­ble jour­nal.

We mustn’t even think about a Zuma amnesty. Our kids will start raid­ing our wal­lets. When you ask lit­tle Sipho why he’s steal­ing your cash, he’ll point to­wards Nkandla and Sax­on­wold and say: “Crime pays, Papa.”

My lovely wife no­ticed my sad mien and asked me out on a date. Off we trot­ted to the the­atre and then for a bite at The Big Mouth in Sand­ton’s Nel­son Man­dela Square (the cen­tre has its charms if you con­di­tion your brain to for­get you are in a mall).

The clien­tele was a mix, from busi­ness­peo­ple to birth­day din­ers to young lovers out on dates. The place is huge, as are many of the Sand­ton joints.

The Big Mouth is a lovely bistro-style restau­rant that over­looks the square. It’s taste­fully done and has tens of staff who hover around as if they are afraid you might try to es­cape. They were great un­til we fin­ished eat­ing. Then it was a mis­sion to get the bill. Lovely ser­vice through­out, though.

Now, I don’t mean to be funny, but there are 105 choices on The Big Mouth’s menu. It has ev­ery­thing from tapas to tacos, grilled steaks to ham­burg­ers, soups to skew­ers, pan-fried fish to small-plate fin­ger food, sushi to sashimi, and rice bowls to hand rolls. I know that one can pull this sort of thing off, but wow — how ex­haust­ing. And that’s just read­ing the menu.

We were there for the sushi. We started with some edamame beans, prawn tem­pura and salt-and-pep­per cala­mari. Pass­able.

For the mains we had the tuna sashimi with toasted sesame seeds, fresh gin­ger, gar­lic sesame oil, jalapeño, red chilli rib­bons, lime and soy sauce. I stopped. I tried it again. It was won­der­ful. Sim­ply un­stop­pable. One of the best dishes I have ever had. The jalapeño and chilli brought out a whole new wave of flavours. Sim­ply stu­pen­dous. I would go back just for that.

We fin­ished it all off with some Cal­i­for­nia rolls, washed them down with sake and got out of there.

If you can stand Sand­ton, then do try The Big Mouth.

It’s big, but it was very good.

The Big Mouth ★★★½

Nel­son Man­dela Square Cor­ner Maude and Fifth streets Sand­ton Tel: 063-293-8869

★★★★★ Makhosi Khoza ★★★★ Ex­cel­lent ★★★ Good ★★ Poor ★ Jacob Zuma

For Lindiwe Sisulu it doesn’t seem to mat­ter that Jacob Zuma may have stolen bil­lions. If it unites the ANC, he should get a free pass

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