THIS ANNOUNCES the new Built-in Orderly Organised Knowledge device (BOOK). It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected, nothing to be switched on or off.
It’s incredibly easy to use. Even a small child can do so. Just lift its cover.
Compact and powerful, it can be used anywhere, even sitting comfortably in an armchair. But it’s powerful enough to contain as much information as a DVD disk.
Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of recyclable paper, each capable of holding hundreds of bits of information. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger will move you from sheet to sheet.
BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future. It’s even possible for anyone with a Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Literary (PENCIL) device to create one. HERE ARE SOME examples of exceptionally short books: • The American Guide to Etiquette. • A Guide to Successful Marriages, a series
compiled by the British Royal Family. • A Thousand Years of German Humour. • Gourmet Cooking with Tofu. • The Irish Book of Knowledge. COPYING one idea from one writer is plagiarism. Copying many ideas from many writers is research. HOW MANY writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in almost all the way and the other to give a surprising twist at the end. WHAT STANDARD mean. “Slightly below average.” Stunningly stupid. “Spends many extra hours in the office.” Dismal home life. “Uses time effectively.” Clock watcher. “Manages human resources well.” Delegates everything. “Tactful with superiors.” Sycophantic creep. “Unlimited potential.” We’re stuck with him until retirement.
staff evaluations really