Finweek English Edition - - Piker -

En­ema. Not a friend. Ni­trates. Cheaper than day rates. Node. Knew it. Post-oper­a­tive. Let­ter car­rier. Ter­mi­nal ill­ness. Get­ting sick at the air­port. AIR­LINES TAKE TO SELL­ING PAINT

In comes the first cus­tomer: “How much for your largest tin?” he asks. “Be­tween R30 and R500.” “But surely they are all the same size.” “Yes, but it all de­pends on what day and what time you buy. Also, we change the prices many times ev­ery day.”

“Well, when must I come to get a R30 tin?”

“I am afraid I can’t tell you that. Any­way they’re hardly ever avail­able.”

“Can I pay for a tin now and col­lect it later?”

“Yes. But only the R500 tins are def­i­nitely on of­fer dur­ing nor­mal shop­ping hours.” “This is ridicu­lous.” “Thank you for paint­ing with us.” MORE MED­I­CAL DEF­I­NI­TIONS

Be­nign. Af­ter it be eight. PAUL JEWELL, man­ager of cash-strapped and usu­ally strug­gling Bri­tish pre­mier league soc­cer side Wi­gan, was asked the other day about plans to avoid rel­e­ga­tion.

“I reckon our best bet is to get that top Chi­nese striker,” he said. “You know the fel­low. Win Wun Soon.” THE BOSS SAID to his small SA staff of four: “Sorry peo­ple, but the busi­ness just isn’t com­ing in. I’m go­ing to have let one of you go.”

“Try me and I’ll hit you with an age-dis­crim­i­na­tion suit,” said the old­est em­ployee.

“Don’t even think about it,” said the black man. “For­get it,” said the only wo­man. They all looked at the fourth, a young white male.

“You know,” he said, “I’m ac­tu­ally feel­ing quite gay now.”

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