Enema. Not a friend. Nitrates. Cheaper than day rates. Node. Knew it. Post-operative. Letter carrier. Terminal illness. Getting sick at the airport. AIRLINES TAKE TO SELLING PAINT
In comes the first customer: “How much for your largest tin?” he asks. “Between R30 and R500.” “But surely they are all the same size.” “Yes, but it all depends on what day and what time you buy. Also, we change the prices many times every day.”
“Well, when must I come to get a R30 tin?”
“I am afraid I can’t tell you that. Anyway they’re hardly ever available.”
“Can I pay for a tin now and collect it later?”
“Yes. But only the R500 tins are definitely on offer during normal shopping hours.” “This is ridiculous.” “Thank you for painting with us.” MORE MEDICAL DEFINITIONS
Benign. After it be eight. PAUL JEWELL, manager of cash-strapped and usually struggling British premier league soccer side Wigan, was asked the other day about plans to avoid relegation.
“I reckon our best bet is to get that top Chinese striker,” he said. “You know the fellow. Win Wun Soon.” THE BOSS SAID to his small SA staff of four: “Sorry people, but the business just isn’t coming in. I’m going to have let one of you go.”
“Try me and I’ll hit you with an age-discrimination suit,” said the oldest employee.
“Don’t even think about it,” said the black man. “Forget it,” said the only woman. They all looked at the fourth, a young white male.
“You know,” he said, “I’m actually feeling quite gay now.”