THE MINISTER OF FINANCE has for some years invited members of the public to speak their mind before his Budget speech. Maybe the CEO of the embattled national carrier SA Airways should follow the same route. To kick-start the process, here are some ideas to start Tips for Khaya.
With loss-making SAA looking here, there and everywhere for ways to cut costs (and cull service frills, it would seem) a reader has sent in a few helpful hints that our national carrier might take to heart:
Dump the male flight attendants. Nobody wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with goodlooking strippers. What the hell, they don’t even serve food anymore – so what’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple alcohol sales and get a party atmosphere going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in SA would start flying again.
Because of the tips, the new flight strippers wouldn’t need a salary – thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the strippers for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and “special services”.
That’s definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right: a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. AS MUCH AS THE new regime wants to avoid repeating mistakes made by the previous dispensation, Khaya’s idea of cutting down on in-flight services – such as not serving meals – smacks of utterances by former notoriously outspoken Minister of Transport Hendrik Schoeman, who reacted to complaints from passengers about the food on board SAA flights by asking: “Wil julle vreet of wil julle vlieg?”