Malema’s report card
Malema hits a high C
POOR JULIUS MALEMA. Even for a blockhead like Jacob Zuma’s little jerk it’s got to be embarrassing to have your matric grades splashed across the newspapers. Just how wobbly does a side table or crooked a drawer have to be before you’re marked a GG for woodworking – and that at standard grade? Or was it because Malema – at 21, the age at which he matriculated – just didn’t bother to do some sanding and varnishing before handing in his project? Even militant revolutionaries have to be able to put a shine on something. And at this point Malema is definitely tarnishing the image of the Zuma project. Put another way, he’s making everyone else look stupid too.
A lack of talent for woodwork and drawing straight lines may not be that crucial for a political leader – let’s just pray that once Malema emerges from his yoot, he’s not made minister of public works. We wouldn’t want him to sign off on any bridges or buildings. It could be that Malema was simply overextending himself by taking seven subjects instead of the required six.
That Malema isn’t aware of his own limitations is abundantly clear. Although he matriculated in 2002, he obviously clung to the idea of Liberayshin Befor Edukashin long after it had served its purpose. Even if Malema’s claim to have become a child soldier for the ANC at age nine – the reason he didn’t find much time for readin and writin – is true that would’ve been in 1990. Even Apla, barring a church massacre or two, had by that stage scaled back its activities.
Malema’s F for geography and D for history is more worrying. Given his propensity for war talk and taking up arms, a deeper knowledge of the countries of the world would be vital. Lest we attack the counter- revolutionaries in Botswana instead of Zimbabwe, just like George W Bush mistook Iraq for Iran. And for someone who likes to quote from Karl Marx’s 1867 manifesto, his bad grade in history is a bit of surprise. Or perhaps nothing that has happened over the past 140 years interests the patently incurious Malema. MidNineteenth century is being too generous to the man – his thinking is more medieval. His H for mathematics – standard grade – is also puzzling. One assumes that since writing the final exam, the Marxist Millionaire has become proficient at counting his piles of money. Perhaps it’s a good thing that Malema’s addin and subtractin isn’t up to scratch. The previous members of the Yoot’s investment arm certainly knew how to work the numbers, given the millions they were able to pocket through complex financial transactions, with among, others Brett Kebble.
Malema scored a C for English (second language), although for Afrikaans and Sepedi it was Es. The Yoot League’s response when his matric results came to light was: “We are of the firm view that a leader’s educational intellect is organically cultivated and linked with his practical experience and interactions with the ordinary people on a daily basis.”
Given that English is Malema’s strongest suit, he should be writing the Yoot’s statements himself, then it may be possible to makes sense of it:
If the highest educational intellect (whatever that is) the ordinary people (whoever they may be) can organically cultivate (however that may be achieved) in a leader is a C we have bigger problems than we thought.