SERIAS JULIAS? JULIUS (or Julias, according to his matric certificate) Malema was sitting among youth league comrades and discussing taking up shares in the banking sector. The comrades suggested they could buy shares in Standard Bank – or First National Bank, even Absa (although they believe the bank is sponsoring Shikota).
One of the comrades turned to Julias, seeking advice: “What do you know about banks, comrade?”
“I’ve always liked Witbank,” came the reply from Julius. THE BOTTLE OF WINE MARY WAS DRIVING HOME from one of her business trips in northern Limpopo when she saw an elderly Venda woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Venda woman if she’d like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Mary tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the woman. But the old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Mary.
“What’s in the bag?” asked the old woman.
Mary looked down at the brown bag and replied: “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.”
The Venda woman was silent for another moment or two. Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.” ROAD RAGE ON THE WAY TO the office this morning I rear-ended a car.
Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day.
The driver got out of the other car and he happened to be a dwarf. He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said: “I’m not happy.”
So I said: “Well, which one are you then?”
That’s how the fight started...