Finweek English Edition - - Investor Statistics -

SERIAS JU­LIAS? JULIUS (or Ju­lias, ac­cord­ing to his ma­tric cer­tifi­cate) Malema was sit­ting among youth league com­rades and dis­cussing tak­ing up shares in the bank­ing sec­tor. The com­rades sug­gested they could buy shares in Stan­dard Bank – or First Na­tional Bank, even Absa (al­though they be­lieve the bank is spon­sor­ing Shikota).

One of the com­rades turned to Ju­lias, seek­ing ad­vice: “What do you know about banks, com­rade?”

“I’ve al­ways liked Wit­bank,” came the re­ply from Julius. THE BOT­TLE OF WINE MARY WAS DRIV­ING HOME from one of her busi­ness trips in north­ern Lim­popo when she saw an el­derly Venda woman walk­ing on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Venda woman if she’d like a ride.

With a si­lent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Re­sum­ing the jour­ney, Mary tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the woman. But the old woman just sat silently, looking in­tently at ev­ery­thing she saw, study­ing ev­ery lit­tle de­tail, un­til she no­ticed a brown bag on the seat next to Mary.

“What’s in the bag?” asked the old woman.

Mary looked down at the brown bag and replied: “It’s a bot­tle of wine. I got it for my hus­band.”

The Venda woman was si­lent for an­other mo­ment or two. Then, speak­ing with the quiet wis­dom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.” ROAD RAGE ON THE WAY TO the of­fice this morn­ing I rear-ended a car.

Some­how I knew it was go­ing to be a bad day.

The driver got out of the other car and he hap­pened to be a dwarf. He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said: “I’m not happy.”

So I said: “Well, which one are you then?”

That’s how the fight started...

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.