ON MAR­GIN

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

CHEERS!

Piker couldn’t ver­ify the age, diet or ex­is­tence of Hat­tie Mae MacDon­ald (101), sup­pos­edly of Ken­tucky, but won’t let the facts stand in the way of some healthy ad­vice.

Re­porter: “Can you give us some health tips for reach­ing the age of 101?”

Hat­tie: “For bet­ter di­ges­tion, I drink beer. In the case of ap­petite loss, I drink white wine. For low blood pres­sure, I drink red wine. In the case of high blood pres­sure, I drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.” Re­porter: “When do you drink wa­ter?” Hat­tie: “I’ve never been that sick!”

NO WHAT IT AP­PEARS

An old nun, a cute Swedish girl, an Amer­i­can guy and a French­man are all in a train car. The train goes into a dark tun­nel and all four hear a slap. When they emerge, no one says a word but the French­man has a red hand print across his face.

The nun thinks that the French­man groped the Swedish girl, so she slapped him.

The Swedish girl thinks that the French­man tried grop­ing her, but groped the nun in­stead, so the nun slapped him. The French­man thinks the Amer­i­can groped the French girl and she mis­tak­enly slapped him in­stead.

The Amer­i­can is hop­ing there will be more tun­nels so he can slap the French­man again.

AN­I­MAL GAMES

A horse walks into a bar. Sev­eral peo­ple get up and leave be­cause they re­alise the po­ten­tial dan­ger of the sit­u­a­tion.

A LIGHT SIT­U­A­TION

How many hip­sters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Some ob­scure num­ber you’ve prob­a­bly never heard of.

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