On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

A col­lege math pro­fes­sor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her hus­band that says, “My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Hol­i­day Inn with my 20-year-old stu­dent. Don’t bother wait­ing up for me.”

He re­turns home late that night to find a note from his wife: “You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you’re not giv­ing me. So I am at the Mo­tel 6 with one of your 20-year-old stu­dents. Be­ing a math pro­fes­sor, I’m sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don’t you wait up for me.” A hus­band and wife have four sons. The old­est three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.

The fa­ther was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, be­fore I die, be to­tally hon­est with me: Is our youngest son my child?”

The wife replied, “I swear on ev­ery­thing that’s holy that he is your son.”

With that, the hus­band passed away. The wife mut­tered, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.” A bil­lion­aire, a misog­y­nist and a racist walk into a bar.

The bar­tender asks how he is do­ing in the elec­tion. There are three ways to get some­thing done: do it your­self, hire some­one, or for­bid your kids to do it. You know your chil­dren are grow­ing up when they stop ask­ing you where they came from and start re­fus­ing to tell you where they’re go­ing.

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