On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

In­fin­itely many math­e­ma­ti­cians walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer.” The sec­ond says, “I’ll have half a beer.” The third says, “I’ll have a quar­ter of a beer.”

Be­fore any­one else can speak, the bar­man fills up ex­actly two glasses of beer and serves them. “Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your lim­its.”

____________________________ “Poor old fool,” thought the well-dressed gen­tle­man as he watched an old man fish in a pud­dle out­side a pub. So he in­vited the old man in­side for a drink.

As they sipped their whiskeys, the gen­tle­man thought he’d hu­mour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught to­day?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

____________________________ A dog walks into a bar and or­ders a mar­tini. The bar­tender says, “You don’t see a dog in here drink­ing a mar­tini very of­ten.”

The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not sur­prised.” Three fans were be­moan­ing the sorry state of their rugby team.

“I blame the gen­eral man­ager,” said the first fan. “If he signed bet­ter play­ers, we’d be a great team.”

“I blame the play­ers,” said the sec­ond fan. “If they made more of an ef­fort, we’d score some points.”

“I blame my par­ents,” said the third. “If I’d been born in Cape Town, I’d be sup­port­ing a de­cent team.” A Scot­tish mother vis­its her son in his New York City apart­ment and asks, “How do you find the Amer­i­cans, James?”

“Mother,” says James, “they’re such noisy peo­ple. One neigh­bour won’t stop bang­ing his head against the wall, while the other screams and screams all night long.”

“Oh, James! How do you man­age to put up with them?”

“What can I do? I just lie in bed qui­etly, play­ing my bag­pipes.”

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