On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Bil­lion­aire busi­ness­man (and some would say buf­foon) Don­ald Trump has be­come the US Repub­li­can pres­i­den­tial nom­i­nee in all but name af­ter win­ning the In­di­ana pri­mary on 3 May, prompt­ing his big­gest ri­val Ted Cruz to sus­pend his cam­paign. Here are a few of Piker’s favourite Trump jokes, col­lected from around the web: Q: What is Don­ald Trump telling Barack Obama sup­port­ers? A: Orange Is The New Black. Q: Why doesn’t Me­la­nia Trump want to be the first lady? A: Be­cause she would have to move into a smaller house. Q: What is the Beach Boys song “Kokomo” about? A: All the places Don­ald Trump has bank ac­counts. Don­ald Trump is “the kind of per­son who goes to the Su­per Bowl and thinks the peo­ple in the hud­dle are talk­ing about him”. – Eric Sch­nei­der­man, New York at­tor­ney gen­eral Don­ald Trump is giv­ing nar­cis­sism a bad name. – Made­line Be­gun Kane, hu­mourist and po­lit­i­cal satirist Don­ald Trump showed his birth cer­tifi­cate to re­porters. Who cares about his birth cer­tifi­cate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vac­ci­na­tions. – Craig Ferguson, TV host and co­me­dian Don­ald Trump may be run­ning for pres­i­dent. He said he’s sick and tired of the rest of the world laugh­ing at the United States. Well, Pres­i­dent Trump will cer­tainly put an end to that! – David Let­ter­man, co­me­dian and former TV host Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep un­der­stand­ing of what stupid peo­ple want. – Andy Borowitz, writer, co­me­dian and satirist “Nearly 70% of Amer­i­cans said a Trump pres­i­dency would make them ‘anx­ious.’ And 30% said a Trump pres­i­dency would make them ‘Cana­dian’.” – Co­nan O’Brien, TV host and co­me­dian “Yes­ter­day, Don­ald Trump said, ‘If I lose, I don’t think you’ll ever see me again.’ So fi­nally, a Trump cam­paign slo­gan we can all get be­hind.” – Co­nan O’Brien

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