On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Piker is not a big fan of the pro­fes­sion, but must ad­mit that his ac­coun­tant has got­ten him out of a tax pickle or two over the years. But that is no rea­son not to poke fun at the grey suits: • What do you call an ac­coun­tant with

an opin­ion? An au­di­tor. • An ac­coun­tant is some­one who solves a prob­lem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t un­der­stand. • An econ­o­mist is some­one who didn’t have enough per­son­al­ity to be­come an ac­coun­tant. • What’s the dif­fer­ence be­tween an ac­coun­tant and a lawyer? The ac­coun­tant knows he’s bor­ing. • A fine is a tax for do­ing wrong. A tax

is a fine for do­ing well. • What’s an ac­tu­ary? An ac­coun­tant

with­out the sense of hu­mour. • What do ac­tu­ar­ies do to liven up their

of­fice party? In­vite an ac­coun­tant. A drunk leaned a lit­tle too far out of a sec­ond-floor win­dow and fell out. He was ly­ing on the sidewalk when some­one ran up and asked what had hap­pened.

The drunk looked up and said: “Hell, I don’t know. I just got here.” Q: You are on a horse that is gal­lop­ing at a con­stant speed.

On your right side is a sharp drop, and on your left side is an ele­phant trav­el­ling at the same speed as you.

Di­rectly in front of you is an­other gal­lop­ing horse but your horse is un­able to over­take it.

Be­hind you is a lion run­ning at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dan­ger­ous sit­u­a­tion? A: Get your drunk ass off the mer­rygo-round!

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