Piker is not a big fan of the profession, but must admit that his accountant has gotten him out of a tax pickle or two over the years. But that is no reason not to poke fun at the grey suits: • What do you call an accountant with
an opinion? An auditor. • An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand. • An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant. • What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring. • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax
is a fine for doing well. • What’s an actuary? An accountant
without the sense of humour. • What do actuaries do to liven up their
office party? Invite an accountant. A drunk leaned a little too far out of a second-floor window and fell out. He was lying on the sidewalk when someone ran up and asked what had happened.
The drunk looked up and said: “Hell, I don’t know. I just got here.” Q: You are on a horse that is galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop, and on your left side is an elephant travelling at the same speed as you.
Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? A: Get your drunk ass off the merrygo-round!