On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Astrol­ogy tells us about you and your future sim­ply by look­ing at your birth­day. The Chi­nese Zo­diac uses the year of your birth. The Cor­po­rate Zo­diac goes a step fur­ther: sim­ply by look­ing at your job ti­tle, people will have you all fig­ured out: MAR­KET­ING: You are am­bi­tious yet stupid. You chose a mar­ket­ing de­gree to avoid hav­ing to study at univer­sity, con­cen­trat­ing in­stead on drink­ing and so­cial­is­ing, which is pretty much what your job re­spon­si­bil­i­ties are now. SALES: Lazi­est of all signs, of­ten re­ferred to as “mar­ket­ing with­out a de­gree”, you are also self-cen­tred and para­noid. Un­less some­one calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid con­tact with “cus­tomers” so you can “con­cen­trate on the big picture”. You seek ad­mi­ra­tion for your golf game through­out your life. TECH­NOL­OGY: Un­able to con­trol any­thing in your per­sonal life, you are in­stead con­tent to com­pletely con­trol ev­ery­thing that hap­pens at your work­place. Of­ten even YOU don’t un­der­stand what you are say­ing, but who the hell can tell? AC­COUNT­ING: You are mostly im­mune to of­fice pol­i­tics. You are the most feared per­son in the or­gan­i­sa­tion; com­bined with your ex­treme or­gan­i­sa­tional traits, the ma­jor­ity of ru­mours con­cern­ing you say that you are com­pletely in­sane. HU­MAN RE­SOURCES: Iron­i­cally, given your ac­cess to con­fi­den­tial in­for­ma­tion, you tend to be the big­gest gos­sip within the or­gan­i­sa­tion. Pos­si­bly the only other per­son who does less work than mar­ket­ing, you are un­able to re­turn any calls to­day be­cause you have to get a hair­cut, have lunch, and mail a let­ter! MID­DLE/SE­NIOR MAN­AGE­MENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet com­pletely spine­less, you are des­tined to re­main at your cur­rent job for the rest of your life. Un­able to make a sin­gle de­ci­sion, you tend to mea­sure your worth by the num­ber of meet­ings you can sched­ule for your­self.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.