Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by looking at your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. The Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by looking at your job title, people will have you all figured out: MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study at university, concentrating instead on drinking and socialising, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree”, you are also self-centred and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with “customers” so you can “concentrate on the big picture”. You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell? ACCOUNTING: You are mostly immune to office politics. You are the most feared person in the organisation; combined with your extreme organisational traits, the majority of rumours concerning you say that you are completely insane. HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organisation. Possibly the only other person who does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter! MIDDLE/SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision, you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.