A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together.
The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerised that he let me baptise him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
“So you’re interested in working with us at our psychiatric practice. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?”
“I’ve been on Facebook for five years now.”
“Very good, the job is yours.”
Back to work
When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day. Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
Hard at work
A woman calls her scientist husband: “Honey... It’s Saturday and you’re late for lunch.”
“I’m busy with my team, conducting an experiment.” “Oh? What are you doing?” “We’ve just added a derivative of C H O [ethanol] with ambient temperature H O and aqueous CO . To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H O, now while waiting for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine... It’s a four- or five-round experiment… So I will be late.”
She replies: “Sounds like a lot of work! Sorry for disturbing you – take your time.”
Q: What’s green and fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A: A pool table. ____________________________________________ Q: What’s the fastest way to lose a few pounds? A: Exit the European Union.