On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Beastly con­ver­sion

A priest, a min­is­ter, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and at­tempts to con­vert it. Later, they all get to­gether.

The priest be­gins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the cat­e­chism and sprin­kled him with holy wa­ter. Next week is his first Com­mu­nion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the min­is­ter, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mes­merised that he let me bap­tise him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is ly­ing on a gur­ney in a body cast. “Look­ing back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the cir­cum­ci­sion.”

Job in­ter­view

“So you’re in­ter­ested in work­ing with us at our psy­chi­atric prac­tice. What is your ex­pe­ri­ence with men­tally dis­turbed peo­ple?”

“I’ve been on Face­book for five years now.”

“Very good, the job is yours.”

Back to work

When I greeted my boss in the morn­ing, he told me to have a good day. Who am I to ar­gue? So I thanked him and went back home.

Hard at work

A woman calls her sci­en­tist hus­band: “Honey... It’s Satur­day and you’re late for lunch.”

“I’m busy with my team, con­duct­ing an ex­per­i­ment.” “Oh? What are you do­ing?” “We’ve just added a de­riv­a­tive of C H O [ethanol] with am­bi­ent tem­per­a­ture H O and aque­ous CO . To cool this mix­ture added some su­per low tem­per­a­ture, so­lid­i­fied H O, now while wait­ing for some pro­tein, we are fu­mi­gat­ing the lab with vapours of nico­tine... It’s a four- or five-round ex­per­i­ment… So I will be late.”

She replies: “Sounds like a lot of work! Sorry for dis­turb­ing you – take your time.”

In short

Q: What’s green and fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A: A pool ta­ble. ____________________________________________ Q: What’s the fastest way to lose a few pounds? A: Exit the Euro­pean Union.

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