On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Run­ning late

A High­land piper was asked by a funeral di­rec­tor to play at a grave­side ser­vice for a home­less man who had no fam­ily or friends. The funeral was to be held at a ceme­tery away in a re­mote glen and the man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As the piper wasn’t fa­mil­iar with the rugged area, he got lost and, be­ing a typ­i­cal man, didn’t stop to ask for di­rec­tions. He fi­nally ar­rived an hour late and saw the back­hoe and the crew who were eat­ing lunch but a hearse was nowhere in sight.

He apol­o­gised to the work­ers for his tar­di­ness and stepped to the side of the open grave where he saw the vault lid al­ready in place. He as­sured the gravedig­gers he wouldn’t hold them up for long but it was the proper thing to do.

The work­ers gath­ered around, still eat­ing their lunch, as the piper played his heart and soul out. As he played the work­ers be­gan to weep. He played and played as he’d never piped be­fore, from “Go­ing Home” and “The Lord is My Shep­herd” to “Flow­ers of the For­est”. He closed his lengthy ses­sion with “Amaz­ing Grace” and walked to his car.

As the piper was open­ing the door and tak­ing off his jacket, he over­heard one of the work­ers say­ing to an­other: “Sweet Mary and Joseph, I’ve never seen any­thing like that be­fore and I’ve been putting in sep­tic tanks for 20 years!”

Drink­ing games

There were two friends drink­ing and one says to the other: “I have a trum­pet that tells the hour.”

“The hour? Re­ally?” the friend asks scep­ti­cally.

“Yes, yes, look!” He grabs the trum­pet, opens the win­dow and starts to play the in­stru­ment like crazy.

All of a sud­den they hear: “You $#%^}@, it’s three in the morn­ing!”

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