Angela Merkel visits Donald Trump in Washington.
During her stay Trump asks her: “Tell me, Chancellor Merkel, what’s the secret of your years of success?”
Merkel responds: “Well, I have always surrounded myself with intelligent people.”
“Very interesting,” says Trump, “but how exactly do you know if they are intelligent?”
“Well, I just ask them a couple of simple questions. By their response I can quickly determine whether someone is intelligent or not.”
To demonstrate, Merkel picks up the phone and calls Wolfgang Schäuble, her minister of finance, and asks: “It’s the son of your father, but it’s not your brother. Who is it?” The minister replies: “That’s easy, it’s obviously me!”
Totally impressed, Trump returns to the Oval Office and calls up his vice-president, Michael Pence. “Mike, I have a question for you. It’s the son of your father, but it’s not your brother. Who is it?” Pence stalls for a moment, not knowing the answer. He tells Trump that he will sleep on it.
In the morning he wakes up, still without a solution. So he phones Barack Obama and passes the riddle to him. Obama immediately responds: “Well, that’s me!”
Relieved, Pence calls up Trump and exclaims: “I got the answer to your question . . . it’s Barack Obama!”
After a moment of silence, Trump explodes: “No, you idiot, it’s Wolfgang Schäuble!”
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel. . . . and the train driver can see three idiots standing on the rails.
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” − Steven Wright “I can’t exercise for long. When I get back from a run, my girlfriend usually asks if I’ve forgotten something.” − Pete Otway “Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” − Tiff Stevenson