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Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

A man wakes up in the morn­ing deeply re­pen­tant af­ter a bit­ter fight with his wife the pre­vi­ous night. He no­tices with dis­may the crate of beer bot­tles that had caused the fight. He takes it out­side and starts smash­ing the empty bot­tles, one by one, onto the wall.

He smashes the first bot­tle: “You are the rea­son I fight with my wife!”

He smashes the sec­ond bot­tle: “You are the rea­son I don’t love my chil­dren!”

He smashes the third bot­tle: “You are the rea­son I don’t have a de­cent job!”

When he takes up the fourth bot­tle, he re­alises that it’s still sealed and full.

He hes­i­tates for only a mo­ment, then says: “You stand aside, I know you weren’t in­volved.”

Mis­com­mu­ni­ca­tion

An an­cient Chi­nese em­peror had a beau­ti­ful young daughter. One day he re­alised he was grow­ing quite old, and there would be no man to take care of her when he died. So he set up a task for any­one in his em­pire. The per­son who brought him the most ping pong balls within 365 days would get to marry his daughter, and be­come his suc­ces­sor.

Three-hun­dred-and-sixty-four days went by, and not a sin­gle per­son showed up.

But on the 365th day, three men ap­peared in front of the em­peror. The first man had 1 556 ping pong balls, and ev­ery­body was cer­tain he was go­ing to win the chal­lenge. The sec­ond man emp­tied a back­pack and showed he had 2 032 ping pong balls. Every­one was ex­cited to see how many the third man had. The third man walked up, bleed­ing all over, cuts and scars across his face, miss­ing an arm, and breath­ing heav­ily. He puts two gi­ant balls on a ta­ble in front of the em­peror.

The em­peror asked: “Where are your ping pong balls?”

To which the man re­sponded: “PING PONG BALLS? I THOUGHT YOU SAID KING KONG’S BALLS!”

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