On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

A group of en­gi­neer­ing pro­fes­sors was in­vited to fly on a new type of air­craft. Right af­ter they were com­fort­ably seated, they were in­formed that the plane had been built by their stu­dents.

All but one got out of their seats and fran­ti­cally scram­bled to the ex­its in ma­ni­a­cal panic.

The one lone pro­fes­sor who calmly re­mained in his seat was asked: “Why did you stay put?”

“I have plenty of con­fi­dence in my stu­dents. Know­ing them, I know for a fact that this piece of crap will never even start!”

Re­fresh­ing bev­er­ages

The CEOs of Carls­berg, Heineken, Becks and Guin­ness walk into a bar.

The CEO of Carls­berg or­ders a bot­tle of Carls­berg.

The CEO of Heineken or­ders a bot­tle of Heineken.

The CEO of Becks or­ders a bot­tle of Becks.

The CEO of Guin­ness or­ders diet Coke with no ice.

The oth­ers turn to him and ask him why he or­dered a Coke. He re­sponds: “No­body else is drink­ing beer. I didn’t want to be the only one.”

A bet­ting man

An English tourist goes to an Ir­ish race meet and sees a priest bless­ing one of the horses. To the tourist’s sur­prise, the horse wins, as do the next two horses the priest blesses.

He sees the priest bless a fourth horse and puts all his money on it.

Un­for­tu­nately, the loud crack of the start­ing pis­tol gives the horse a heart at­tack and it drops dead be­fore it can even take a sin­gle step.

Later the tourist tells the priest about his dis­as­trous bet, and asks why his bless­ing didn’t work on the fourth horse.

“Are you a Protes­tant?” asks the priest. “Yes, I am,” replies the tourist. “Well then,” says the priest. “You’ll not be know­ing the dif­fer­ence be­tween a bless­ing and the last rites.”

In brief

Q: How many in­tro­verts does it take to change a light bulb? A: Why does it have to be a group ac­tiv­ity?

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