A group of engineering professors was invited to fly on a new type of aircraft. Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed that the plane had been built by their students.
All but one got out of their seats and frantically scrambled to the exits in maniacal panic.
The one lone professor who calmly remained in his seat was asked: “Why did you stay put?”
“I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I know for a fact that this piece of crap will never even start!”
The CEOs of Carlsberg, Heineken, Becks and Guinness walk into a bar.
The CEO of Carlsberg orders a bottle of Carlsberg.
The CEO of Heineken orders a bottle of Heineken.
The CEO of Becks orders a bottle of Becks.
The CEO of Guinness orders diet Coke with no ice.
The others turn to him and ask him why he ordered a Coke. He responds: “Nobody else is drinking beer. I didn’t want to be the only one.”
A betting man
An English tourist goes to an Irish race meet and sees a priest blessing one of the horses. To the tourist’s surprise, the horse wins, as do the next two horses the priest blesses.
He sees the priest bless a fourth horse and puts all his money on it.
Unfortunately, the loud crack of the starting pistol gives the horse a heart attack and it drops dead before it can even take a single step.
Later the tourist tells the priest about his disastrous bet, and asks why his blessing didn’t work on the fourth horse.
“Are you a Protestant?” asks the priest. “Yes, I am,” replies the tourist. “Well then,” says the priest. “You’ll not be knowing the difference between a blessing and the last rites.”
Q: How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? A: Why does it have to be a group activity?