On mar­gin

Finweek English Edition - - PIKER -

Sleep­less nights

An ac­coun­tant is hav­ing trou­ble sleep­ing and goes to see his doc­tor. “Doc­tor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says.

“Have you tried count­ing sheep?” en­quires the doc­tor.

“That’s the prob­lem – I make a mis­take and then spend three hours try­ing to find it.”

Not your av­er­age bean coun­ters

A guy in a bar leans over to the man next to him and says: “Want to hear an ac­coun­tant joke?”

The guy next to him replies: “Well, be­fore you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 1.9m tall, 100kg, and I’m an ac­coun­tant. And the guy sit­ting next to me is 1.95m tall, 120kg, and he’s an ac­coun­tant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?”

The first guy says: “No, I don’t want to have to ex­plain it twice.”

The perfect out­fit

A young banker de­cided to get his first tailor-made suit. As he tried it on, he reached down to put his hands in the pock­ets but to his sur­prise found none.

He men­tioned this to the tailor, who asked him: “You’re a banker, right?”

The young man an­swered: “Yes, I am.”

“Well, who­ever heard of a banker putting his hand in his own pocket?” SOURCES: bituptick.com; email­stop­watch.com

Drunk and (dis)or­derly

Q: How do you get 100 drunk and rowdy Cana­di­ans out of a pool?

A: You say: “Please get out of the pool.”

Fond mem­o­ries

To­day I hap­pened to be in the area where I grew up so I went to look at my old child­hood home. I knocked and asked if I could look around a bit, but the own­ers said no and shut the door in my face.

My par­ents can be so damn rude some­times.

Try­ing your luck

The women I meet in bars al­ways have the worst pick-up lines... They’re like, “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

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