The three quests
A king is ready to abdicate. He calls his three sons into the throne room. The monarch tells them: “Each of you will receive a trial; the first to complete their trial will become king.”
Addressing his eldest son, a brave and foolhardy man of great stature, he says: “You are to bring me your grandmother’s emerald ring, lost decades ago in the wreck of the Windbreaker, from the bottom of the stormy North Sea.”
“As you wish, Father,” responds the eldest son and departs at once, determined to become king.
Then to his middle son, nimble and self-righteous, the king says: “You are to retrieve your great-grandfather’s shield, bearing our coat of arms, lost at the site of a battle long since forgotten, somewhere in the perilous jungles of India.”
“I shall do so at once, Father,” the middle son answers and rushes off.
Then the king turns to his youngest son, who is intelligent, but meek compared to his older siblings. “What do you want me to do, Father?” the youth asks.
“Bring me a beer. I never liked those assholes.”
World leaders Vladimir and Donald are taking a break from a long summit. Vladimir says to Donald: “Donald, you know, I have a big problem I don’t know how to solve. I have 100 bodyguards, and one of them is a traitor. But I don’t know which one it is.”
“Not a big deal, Vladimir,” Donald responds. “I’m stuck with 100 economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision and only one tells the truth.”
“That sounds like the same situation,” Vladimir says.
“Yes,” replies Donald. “But in my case it’s never the same one!”
My motto in life is to always give 100%.
It does make blood donation quite tricky.
“There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means.”
− Calvin Coolidge, lawyer and former US president (1872-1933)