A woman in a supermarket notices a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, toys... you name it.
Meanwhile, the grandfather is calmly working his way through the shop, saying in a controlled voice: “Easy, Sean, we won’t be long... easy, boy.”
Another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say: “It’s okay, Sean, just a few more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart and the grandfather again says in a controlled voice: “Sean, Sean, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay calm, Sean.”
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather had loaded the groceries into the car and is now busy wrestling the boy into the car seat.
She says to the elderly man: “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got. Sean is very lucky to have you as his grandpa.”
“Thanks,” says the man, “but I’m Sean. The little brat’s name is Kevin.”
Silence is golden
The kids’ grandparents visit over the holidays and go to church for Christmas Mass. Halfway through the service, the grandpa leans over and whispers in his wife’s ear: “I’ve just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?”
The grandma replies: “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”
A reporter was interviewing a 103-yearold great-grandfather: “And what do you think is the best thing about being 103?”
The old man simply replied: “No peer pressure.” _________________________________________
Q: How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
A: Yell: “My money’s on the guy with the knife!”