Piker

Finweek English Edition - - Contents - SOURCE: greek­shares.com

Get­ting the state bud­get back on track

Fol­low­ing fi­nance min­is­ter Malusi Gi­gaba’s dis­as­trous mini-bud­get speech in Par­lia­ment at the end of Oc­to­ber, a per­son named Felix who called in to SAFM shared the fol­low­ing anal­ogy:

“This is like a sit­u­a­tion where the fa­ther goes to blow all his money on booze and pros­ti­tutes, and then comes home broke to his wife and kids and make pro­pos­als on how they bud­get for ed­u­ca­tion, rent and food, and even propos­ing the home ap­pli­ances be sold to cover the short­age.

“But the prob­lem is spend­ing money on booze and pros­ti­tutes. So un­til gov­ern­ment stops bleed­ing money through cor­rup­tion, the bud­get re­forms can­not be sin­cere.”

The root of all evil

The God­fa­ther, ac­com­pa­nied by his stock­bro­ker, goes to meet with his ac­coun­tant.

The God­fa­ther asks the ac­coun­tant: “Where’s the 3m bucks you em­bez­zled from me?”

The ac­coun­tant doesn’t an­swer. The God­fa­ther re­peats the ques­tion. The stock­bro­ker in­ter­rupts: “Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and can­not un­der­stand you, but I can in­ter­pret for you.” The God­fa­ther growls: “Well, ask him where the @#!* the money is.”

The stock­bro­ker, us­ing sign lan­guage, asks the ac­coun­tant where the $3m is. The ac­coun­tant signs back: “I don’t know what you’re talk­ing about.” The stock­bro­ker in­ter­prets to the God­fa­ther: “He doesn’t know what you’re talk­ing about.”

The God­fa­ther pulls out a pis­tol, puts it to the tem­ple of the ac­coun­tant, cocks the trig­ger and says: “Ask him again where the @#!* my money is!”

The stock­bro­ker signs to the ac­coun­tant: “He wants to know where it is!”

The ac­coun­tant signs back: “Okay! Okay! The money’s hid­den in a suit­case be­hind the shed in my back­yard!”

The God­fa­ther says: “Well, what did he say?”

The stock­bro­ker re­sponds: “He says that you don’t have the guts to pull the trig­ger.”

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