Life in the Slow Lane Zuma badly needs a change of heart
With new arteries, my heart is now enabled to do its job without goo hindering free flow. With it comes a new appreciation for life, and of how fortunate I am to be given an extended period on this planet with its warts and all.
To crown it all, I made new friends, fellow patients, during dark periods experienced during hospitalisation. Complete strangers at first, but soon bosom pals having come under the same knife and associated nightmares.
Among them were engineers, teachers, farmers and tradespeople, all with a common thread: coupled to machines monitoring blood pressure and every essential body movement 24/7.
Virtually overnight we found ourselves cast into unfamiliar territory governed by medicos who call the tune. All we had to call our own was a sense of humour, and fortunately our ward was brimful.
The constant laughter, through nose pipes, nebulisers and tightly strapped-on oxygen masks, must’ve sounded to visitors like something from Frankenstein in the making.
From Wimpie, the farm mechanic: “Hey, guys, heard this one? At election time a coachload of Zuma and fellow politicians runs off the road and crashes into a field. When the emergency services arrive, the coach is empty and there’s no sign of the passengers. The farmer is there with his tractor so they ask him what happened to all the politicians. ‘I buried them,’ says the farmer. Taken aback, they ask, ‘They were all dead then?’ The farmer replies, ‘Well, some of them said they were alive, but you can’t believe anything a politician says, can you?’”
Three steamy nebulisers erupt in a paroxysm of horsey giggles.
Sadly, the word “Zuma” is a rude reminder of reality out there. Gets me thinking: What if the president and his corrupt cronies are given new hearts overflowing with love and understanding towards a nation battling with poverty, crime and uncertainty? Imagine awakening one morning to the jubilant headline: “President has change of heart - calls it a day”.
By this simple act, he will make South Africans at large heave a sigh of relief, with new hope for a country that has been long suffering at the hands of a heartless, selfish and captured leader.
Not unlike us “bypass” folk, Zuma would feel better for it, also experiencing the blessing of a transformed life - and pass it on to others.
* While in hospital, Wimpie Venter (mentioned in the column), promised me a sample of his special biltong made at his Rietbron farm in the Karoo. True to his word, he delivered the promised delicacy. Dankie, Wimpie!