Money Let’s talk about our money, honey Life Our coach is right here!
Want to invest in your relationship’s future? Shake off any awkwardness and learn to talk good cents. Life coach Kirsten Long advises on love, work and more.
Money. It’s a loaded topic. Discussing it, however, is a necessary evil, especially if you’re committed to your relationship, because it really affects everything. So you need to learn to do money together. Start here.
Determine what’s worth it to both of you
It’s exciting to figure out the fun stuff you want to spend on together. You won’t see eye to eye on everything, but if you really love each other, chances are you see the world in a similar way and share some fiscal ideas. Understanding each other’s financial values can help you get to know each other on a deeper level, too.
Confront your differences
So your significant other is a saver, or doesn’t earn a lot. Or maybe one of you spends recklessly. The important thing to consider is where it all comes from. So talk about it. Because once you’re in a committed relationship, it’s helpful to know if you’re both looking at money through the same lens: as a vehicle for fun or a means for the future. Disagreeing about money doesn’t have to be contentious, but unresolved issues can fester and implode.
Deal with splitsies
If you think going Dutch is unromantic, take turns paying. Sure, it shakes out to be the same amount of money spent, but one of you is treating the other and there’s some chivalry involved. If you’re married or have been together for a long time, it’s OK to keep it informal, as in, whoever has the cash covers the bill. And if you’ve decided that saving is a collective goal, dating on a budget can actually be a lot more romantic and creative.
Remember: money isn’t everything
It can be a game changer when you find out that you’re with someone who makes (or comes from) significantly more or less than you, but know that it really, truly shouldn’t matter. Try to see beyond the bank. If everything else is good, life together can be quite rich.
Q“All my friends are getting engaged and I’m still single, which I don’t mind, but how do I handle it when I’m asked when I’m getting married?”