Money Let’s talk about our money, honey Life Our coach is right here!

Want to in­vest in your re­la­tion­ship’s fu­ture? Shake off any awk­ward­ness and learn to talk good cents. Life coach Kirsten Long ad­vises on love, work and more.

Glamour (South Africa) - - All About You -

Money. It’s a loaded topic. Dis­cussing it, how­ever, is a nec­es­sary evil, es­pe­cially if you’re com­mit­ted to your re­la­tion­ship, be­cause it re­ally af­fects ev­ery­thing. So you need to learn to do money to­gether. Start here.

De­ter­mine what’s worth it to both of you

It’s ex­cit­ing to fig­ure out the fun stuff you want to spend on to­gether. You won’t see eye to eye on ev­ery­thing, but if you re­ally love each other, chances are you see the world in a sim­i­lar way and share some fis­cal ideas. Un­der­stand­ing each other’s fi­nan­cial val­ues can help you get to know each other on a deeper level, too.

Con­front your dif­fer­ences

So your sig­nif­i­cant other is a saver, or doesn’t earn a lot. Or maybe one of you spends reck­lessly. The im­por­tant thing to con­sider is where it all comes from. So talk about it. Be­cause once you’re in a com­mit­ted re­la­tion­ship, it’s help­ful to know if you’re both look­ing at money through the same lens: as a ve­hi­cle for fun or a means for the fu­ture. Dis­agree­ing about money doesn’t have to be con­tentious, but un­re­solved is­sues can fes­ter and im­plode.

Deal with split­sies

If you think go­ing Dutch is un­ro­man­tic, take turns pay­ing. Sure, it shakes out to be the same amount of money spent, but one of you is treat­ing the other and there’s some chivalry in­volved. If you’re mar­ried or have been to­gether for a long time, it’s OK to keep it in­for­mal, as in, who­ever has the cash cov­ers the bill. And if you’ve de­cided that sav­ing is a col­lec­tive goal, dat­ing on a bud­get can ac­tu­ally be a lot more ro­man­tic and cre­ative.

Re­mem­ber: money isn’t ev­ery­thing

It can be a game changer when you find out that you’re with some­one who makes (or comes from) sig­nif­i­cantly more or less than you, but know that it re­ally, truly shouldn’t mat­ter. Try to see be­yond the bank. If ev­ery­thing else is good, life to­gether can be quite rich.

Q“All my friends are get­ting en­gaged and I’m still sin­gle, which I don’t mind, but how do I han­dle it when I’m asked when I’m get­ting mar­ried?”

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