Are you having ‘social sex’?
There’s a new online trend that’s definitely NSFW. Sex blogger Nixalina Watson reports.
There I am, tumbling through my Twitter feed on my boring train commute, when staring back at me are my friend’s voluptuous breasts for all to see, accompanied by the hashtag #sexselfie.
Bending my phone forwards so the suited man next to me doesn’t think that I’m a perv, I quickly scroll to remove her nipples from my screen. And I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet.
Welcome to the social sex movement.
Before I begin, I feel compelled to tell you that I watch porn. Yes, and I love it. There is, in my humble opinion, no shame in watching porn when you are horny and want to climax. That said, it’s important to remember that porn isn’t real-life sex. Porn is fantasy. It’s a bit like Harry Potter. I often watch footage and think, ‘Surely that’s impossible?’ Social sex, on the other hand, is real sex filmed by Mr and Mrs Smith (or just Miss Smith), then uploaded to social media platforms such as Twitter, Tumblr and Snapchat. The act you are watching is as honest as your own last bedroom session, messy hair and all.
Social media has not only changed the way that we use the internet; it now commands it. So it makes perfect sense that our sex lives would follow suit.
Leading this movement is Makelovenotporn.tv, (MLNP), which was launched ahead of the curve in 2012 by Cindy Gallop and now boasts 400 000 global subscribers and an archive of over 500 videos. What a woman!
Cindy may be a tech start-up founder but, more importantly, she’s a woman daring to delve where others have so far feared to tread:
“I’m the only TED speaker to utter the words ‘cum on my face’ on stage,” she says. This is someone I can get on board with!
Cindy created MLNP and coined the phrase ‘social sex’ as a platform that was designed to break up the influx of unrealistic porn footage on the internet. The issue isn’t porn, she explains. “The issue is a lack of open, healthy conversation around sex.” So don’t get confused – this movement is pro porn and pro sex. It’s not about sitting around discussing how demeaning porn is over tea and custard creams.
In the name of research, I signed up to Makelovenotporn.tv to get a glimpse of the good stuff. I watched a video of a couple in Amsterdam, sitting on a sunny verge looking glorious and happy. I then got to check out stills from their hotel romp. How did I feel? I wanted to watch the whole thing!
says Cindy of her users. “It makes them feel more aware of themselves as sexual beings.” One female MLNP star agrees: “I’m in my 30s and I’ve only just come to terms with my sexuality. I’m now getting over my shame about it.”
Real sex, real moans, real nipples and real blabs. You get the… jizz. It’s a celebration of being human and everything that comes with it – that will always get my vote.
So, would I share sex footage of myself? I am as open as a 7-Eleven and am very much pro sexual discussion. Position advice? Just holler. Sex-toy issue? Drop me a line. Everything is on my blog. But I still cringe knowing that my dad tuned into the radio show where I discussed sexual acts live on the air for an hour. And seeing my breasts on his Twitter feed would make for one very awkward Sunday lunch.
Of course, not everyone is up for online exposure, and that’s totally fine.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s not something that I’d do with my husband,” says my friend Stephanie, 28, who feels that it’s an overshare. Even so, the fact that it is happening sends a powerful message. As with all new territory, there are positives and there are negatives. One not so fun fact is that these relationships, where couples share their sex footage, may not last. Yes, they’re in the throes of passion and love right now, but things can always steer down split valley, and no one, and I mean no one, wants to know what their lovers’ ex looks like in bed.
“It’s absolutely fine to be anonymous,” assures Cindy of MLNP. “Plus, you can only access and watch the videos on the site. If circumstances change, the footage can be removed and isn’t downloadable anywhere else on the net.”
Whatever your opinion, there’s no denying that the sooner we drop the traditional prudish mindset towards sex, the sooner we’ll have a more liberated society and better sex-educated younger generations. Life is too short to live without full self-expression.
I’m not saying you have to dash to your bedroom and get busy with your smartphone camera. But I will be taking a moment to salute the women of this bold movement, which is paving the way for the sexual online revolution.