Are you hav­ing ‘so­cial sex’?

There’s a new on­line trend that’s def­i­nitely NSFW. Sex blog­ger Nix­alina Wat­son re­ports.

Glamour (South Africa) - - Glamour Goddess -

There I am, tum­bling through my Twit­ter feed on my bor­ing train com­mute, when star­ing back at me are my friend’s volup­tuous breasts for all to see, ac­com­pa­nied by the hash­tag #sex­selfie.

Bend­ing my phone for­wards so the suited man next to me doesn’t think that I’m a perv, I quickly scroll to re­move her nip­ples from my screen. And I haven’t even had my morn­ing cof­fee yet.

Wel­come to the so­cial sex move­ment.

Be­fore I be­gin, I feel com­pelled to tell you that I watch porn. Yes, and I love it. There is, in my hum­ble opin­ion, no shame in watch­ing porn when you are horny and want to cli­max. That said, it’s im­por­tant to re­mem­ber that porn isn’t real-life sex. Porn is fan­tasy. It’s a bit like Harry Pot­ter. I of­ten watch footage and think, ‘Surely that’s im­pos­si­ble?’ So­cial sex, on the other hand, is real sex filmed by Mr and Mrs Smith (or just Miss Smith), then up­loaded to so­cial me­dia plat­forms such as Twit­ter, Tum­blr and Snapchat. The act you are watch­ing is as hon­est as your own last bed­room ses­sion, messy hair and all.

So­cial me­dia has not only changed the way that we use the in­ter­net; it now com­mands it. So it makes per­fect sense that our sex lives would fol­low suit.

Lead­ing this move­ment is Makelovenot­, (MLNP), which was launched ahead of the curve in 2012 by Cindy Gal­lop and now boasts 400 000 global sub­scribers and an ar­chive of over 500 videos. What a woman!

Cindy may be a tech start-up founder but, more im­por­tantly, she’s a woman dar­ing to delve where oth­ers have so far feared to tread:

“I’m the only TED speaker to ut­ter the words ‘cum on my face’ on stage,” she says. This is some­one I can get on board with!

Cindy cre­ated MLNP and coined the phrase ‘so­cial sex’ as a plat­form that was de­signed to break up the in­flux of un­re­al­is­tic porn footage on the in­ter­net. The is­sue isn’t porn, she ex­plains. “The is­sue is a lack of open, healthy con­ver­sa­tion around sex.” So don’t get con­fused – this move­ment is pro porn and pro sex. It’s not about sit­ting around dis­cussing how de­mean­ing porn is over tea and cus­tard creams.

In the name of re­search, I signed up to Makelovenot­ to get a glimpse of the good stuff. I watched a video of a cou­ple in Am­s­ter­dam, sit­ting on a sunny verge look­ing glo­ri­ous and happy. I then got to check out stills from their ho­tel romp. How did I feel? I wanted to watch the whole thing!

says Cindy of her users. “It makes them feel more aware of them­selves as sex­ual be­ings.” One fe­male MLNP star agrees: “I’m in my 30s and I’ve only just come to terms with my sex­u­al­ity. I’m now get­ting over my shame about it.”

Real sex, real moans, real nip­ples and real blabs. You get the… jizz. It’s a cel­e­bra­tion of be­ing hu­man and ev­ery­thing that comes with it – that will al­ways get my vote.

So, would I share sex footage of my­self? I am as open as a 7-Eleven and am very much pro sex­ual dis­cus­sion. Po­si­tion ad­vice? Just holler. Sex-toy is­sue? Drop me a line. Ev­ery­thing is on my blog. But I still cringe know­ing that my dad tuned into the ra­dio show where I dis­cussed sex­ual acts live on the air for an hour. And see­ing my breasts on his Twit­ter feed would make for one very awk­ward Sun­day lunch.

Of course, not ev­ery­one is up for on­line ex­po­sure, and that’s to­tally fine.

“I don’t think there’s any­thing wrong with it, but it’s not some­thing that I’d do with my hus­band,” says my friend Stephanie, 28, who feels that it’s an over­share. Even so, the fact that it is hap­pen­ing sends a pow­er­ful mes­sage. As with all new territory, there are pos­i­tives and there are neg­a­tives. One not so fun fact is that these re­la­tion­ships, where couples share their sex footage, may not last. Yes, they’re in the throes of pas­sion and love right now, but things can al­ways steer down split val­ley, and no one, and I mean no one, wants to know what their lovers’ ex looks like in bed.

“It’s ab­so­lutely fine to be anony­mous,” as­sures Cindy of MLNP. “Plus, you can only ac­cess and watch the videos on the site. If cir­cum­stances change, the footage can be re­moved and isn’t down­load­able any­where else on the net.”

What­ever your opin­ion, there’s no deny­ing that the sooner we drop the tra­di­tional prud­ish mind­set to­wards sex, the sooner we’ll have a more lib­er­ated so­ci­ety and bet­ter sex-ed­u­cated younger gen­er­a­tions. Life is too short to live with­out full self-ex­pres­sion.

I’m not say­ing you have to dash to your bed­room and get busy with your smart­phone cam­era. But I will be tak­ing a mo­ment to salute the women of this bold move­ment, which is paving the way for the sex­ual on­line rev­o­lu­tion.

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