Signs that you’re drunk 9Hey,
1Those strangers over there look nice. I’m going to make friends with them.
2Just having a little breather here in the bathroom. It’s quite nice actually, cool and calm. Just going to let my cheek rest against the marble counter. Ah, that’s better. Sleepy now.
3Wow,he’s much more handsome than I remember. And if I say something funny, he might just kiss me…
4Ooh, my face looks really weird in this mirror. I want to touch it. Ooh, is that even me? I feel sad.
5So hungry. Where’s the toast? Where are the Kellogg’s Frosties? Only tomato purée? It’ll do. Or how about making soup with this stock cube?
6 7AhmTurn up the music! Everybody dance! Hey, you – dance! goin to be bit l8ate bunt lol itss hs been suca funny night lol I radlly lve you!!!
8Ineed you to hear what I have to say. I know that we broke up two years ago, but this is unfinished business. Clearly we still have feelings for each other. You don’t really love that pregnant woman. I know all the words to this rap! I’m so gangster – now hand me that mic.
10Wasthis my drink? Doesn’t matter really now, does it. Hmm, champagne. Nice.
11Beyoncé’s ‘Single ladies’ is so me! I know every move… or at least that one with the fists.
12Wow, this is such a cool ashtray. Let me just slip it into my handbag.
13 14You15What? Who says I’m talking loud? love this top? You should have this top. Really, here! There you go.
You know those knickers that tie on the side. Well, I’m wearing them. Wanna see?