hreesomes are always surprisingly noisy,” explains a young woman with experience in this field. “Which can be off-putting at first, but then you get used to it.”
Noisy? “You know, bits slapping against other bits. In a threesome, there are more bits than usual. And the moaning! There’s lots of moaning because people feel like they should do it like they’ve seen in a film.”
It’s a useful insight, and timely, because the threesome is enjoying a glorious resurgence. In fact, one is probably happening near you right now. Of course, we are not so naive as to imagine that threeway frolics haven’t been going on since we were wearing revealing fur pelts and rollicking around on cave floors, but the new millennium trend for more-harder-faster does seem to have resulted in increased naughtiness and boundary-pushing. Plus, in this age of the self-confessional and the selfie, people are just more willing to spill. Threesomes may have been happening before; we were just less likely to know about them.
So, chances are, whoever you are and wherever you live, you’ve thought about it. And then you’ve thought, ‘Who with? How do I ask them? Who starts? And isn’t kissing one person while fiddling with another person like trying to pat your head while rubbing your tummy?’
Stop right there. You can’t be uptight about a threesome. It’s not a military manoeuvre. The key is spontaneity. You might have tumbled into bed with two friends after a birthday party
A highly scientific survey of threesomes
Of GLAMOUR readers have had a threesome. The average length of a threesome is