“Some­times when I get in­cred­i­bly horny…” And, fun toys to get you in the mood

Glamour (South Africa) - - Glamour 2017 March -

… (quite of­ten), I’ll take it out on my phone, send­ing scan­dalous pic­tures and sex­ting with guys I’m only ca­sual with. It’s so much fun, and I don’t know if I want to stop. But should I worry?” – Beth, 25

You’re not alone

“In a sur­vey, one in five sin­gle peo­ple said they had sent or re­ceived pho­tos or sexts. But of all the peo­ple who had re­ceived them, al­most a quar­ter also said they’d shared them, and with an av­er­age of three peo­ple! And men were more likely to show them to a friend than women were. That’s scary enough, but if some­one were to for­ward your sexts, things could get ex­po­nen­tial very quickly. The only way to be sure that noth­ing will get out there is not to send it.” – Dr Amanda Ges­sel­man, psy­chol­o­gist

Know the risks

“Sex­ting has a lot of risks, just like any other sex­ual ac­tiv­ity, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. As with ev­ery­thing in life, there’s no way you can be 100% safe. Still, you could have a con­ver­sa­tion with the per­son you’re sex­ting to make your ex­pec­ta­tions of pri­vacy ex­plicit. The real so­lu­tion is to stop slut sham­ing, be­cause then it wouldn’t mat­ter as much if a wo­man’s naked pho­tos ended up on the web, and you could sext with a lot less fear!” – Amy Adele Hasi­noff, writer

Trust your in­stincts

“You may take a few min­utes to snap a good photo, but it takes a guy a few sec­onds to share it with his univer­sity room­mate Craig, who has changed a lot since univer­sity and, un­be­knownst to him, started a re­venge-porn blog. By then, any say you had over how the con­tent is pre­sented has gone. It’s an­other nude pic out in a dig­i­tal world that’s teem­ing with them. Ev­ery­one sexts – you just have to trust your in­stincts. If you don’t trust the guy, don’t press send.” – Benjy Hansen-bundy, as­sis­tant edi­tor at US GQ

Go for it

“It’s def­i­nitely em­pow­er­ing for women to do risqué stuff like that, and a lot of us feel bolder and more free when we are do­ing and say­ing things over the phone that we might not in per­son. Just know that there are ways to have fun without re­ally ex­pos­ing your­self. You can make a new, anony­mous Snapchat ac­count in less than a minute, and avoid show­ing your face. If you are care­ful and you do it in a way that con­ceals your iden­tity, I think you’re fine.” – Kristina Roberts, writer

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