Love In de­fence of ‘thirst’

We of­ten dis­miss guys who try too hard, but co­me­dian and writer Josh Gon­del­man thinks we’re be­ing harsh. Here’s why.

Glamour (South Africa) - - Glamour 2017 March -

ihave a con­fes­sion to make: I’m what might be called ‘thirsty’. I’m ex­tra. I do too much. And that goes dou­ble in ro­man­tic sit­u­a­tions: I’m as ill-equipped to ‘play it cool’ as I am to play Nba-level basketball. In case you’ve missed this bit of lingo, thirst, as it’s un­der­stood in the modern era, is an out­spo­ken de­sire bor­der­ing on need­i­ness; the guy who tries too hard to win your at­ten­tion or af­fec­tion. It’s of­ten sex­ual and al­ways used in a pe­jo­ra­tive sense, as in “He’s so thirsty” or “Who’s that thirsty rando?” (Rando, of course, be­ing short for ran­dom loser/ creep/ fill in your own in­sult). But the fact that a guy is thirsty is no rea­son to mock him.

Hear me out. Mak­ing a ro­man­tic over­ture to some­one of­ten seems awk­ward and some­times even a lit­tle des­per­ate. That’s be­cause it is. But it’s also a ges­ture that takes both vul­ner­a­bil­ity and as­sertive­ness, and those are good qual­i­ties, even when they re­sult in re­jec­tion.

No great love story has ever be­gun without a spark of thirst. Ro­mance doesn’t just hap­pen on its own. Here’s a con­ver­sa­tion you’ve never had: “Gran, how did you and grandpa meet?” “Well, we saw each other from across the room at a high school dance, and then we both kind of played it cool. Now, 50 years later, here we are.” any such be­hav­iour). I didn’t send a pic­ture of my junk or even a (slightly) more sub­tle egg­plant emoji. I slid into her DMS to thank her for lik­ing a joke I made (what can I say – I was flat­tered).

A DM is an in­ti­mate ges­ture; a tweet sent pub­licly is a shout. A DM is a note passed in se­cret, im­ply­ing, “For your eyes only.” It’s not nec­es­sar­ily a gross move, but it’s a thirsty one for sure. And I didn’t have to reach out that way; I wanted to. Nat­u­rally, if I hadn’t had a re­ply, I would have pulled back. I’m thirsty, not crim­i­nal. I spent years hon­ing my thirst by do­ing things like tak­ing a hint.

Soon af­ter our brief ex­change, I met her in per­son at a party she was throw­ing (I was in­vited! I prom­ise I’m not a creep). I asked for her phone num­ber (thirsty!), SMSED her the next day (ex­tra thirsty!) and

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.