The messy one

Glamour (South Africa) - - Sex -

Pe­ri­ods. In ev­ery­day life, we’re ac­cus­tomed to them hav­ing zero respect for good un­der­wear or our plan to de­but white trousers. We shrug and move on to some­thing black. In sex, there’s more fuss. Dr Brame blames an out­dated “shame and se­cre­tive­ness about fe­male sex­ual func­tion.”

A spot of blood is no biggie, though: if you have your pe­riod, pro­tect sheets with a towel. If it catches you by sur­prise, get cold wa­ter on the sheets, and blot with toi­let pa­per. Also, stay calm. A sim­ple, “I’ve got my pe­riod,” is good enough. Pan­icked hu­mour, “At least I’m not preg­nant!” is pos­si­bly too much for a first date.

I once tot­tered around a boyfriend’s room do­ing that ‘I’m so con­fi­dent naked’ thing, with­out re­al­is­ing I was trail­ing blood over his car­pet. In­side, I screamed, ‘Nooooo’. But I said, “Er, I think I spilt some­thing. You stay there, I’ve got it.” Then I ran to the bath­room and whis­pered, “Nooooo.”

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