Our life coach is right here!

Kirsten Long ad­vises on love, work and more.

Glamour (South Africa) - - All about you -

Q“I’ve dated my boyfriend for two years, but ev­ery time I bring up mar­riage he shuts me down. How can I ap­proach this?”

Very few women are happy to re­main in a long-term re­la­tion­ship that goes nowhere. So this is a con­ver­sa­tion that has to hap­pen.

First spend time hon­estly re­flect­ing on your deal-break­ers and what you want, as you need to be com­fort­able know­ing that this con­ver­sa­tion could put your re­la­tion­ship at risk.

There may be op­por­tu­ni­ties that nat­u­rally open up a con­ver­sa­tion. If a friend gets en­gaged, for ex­am­ple, you could talk about how long she and her part­ner have been to­gether to learn his views on mar­riage. But keep things the­o­ret­i­cal, not pointed. A com­ment like, “What I think is im­por­tant in a fu­ture hus­band is…” lessens the pres­sure and sug­gests the pos­si­bil­ity that you could marry some­one else.

If, how­ever, you want a di­rect con­ver­sa­tion, sim­ply state what you want and ask his opin­ion. You could say, “I would like to get mar­ried, not to­day, but one day. How do you feel about this?”

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