The over­sized one

Glamour (South Africa) - - Sex -

Penises at the hairdryer scale of the spec­trum ex­ist. And a large load re­quires dif­fer­ent treat­ment. While friends have spon­ta­neous ‘let’s do it up that tree’ sex, you have a reper­toire of one: low­er­ing down on it like a crane, while lu­bri­cant is poured on like oil to a door hinge. It might not hap­pen in Hollywood sex, but it’s OK to pant with joy be­cause you got it in.

“Most vagi­nas ex­pand to fit all shapes and sizes of penises, given ap­pro­pri­ate arousal and lu­bri­ca­tion,” says con­sul­tant gy­nae­col­o­gist Dr Janice Rymer. “Take your time, re­lax; don’t force a fit, as this can cause pain and tear­ing.” The one time ‘Hairdryer Pe­nis’ didn’t fit was post-breakup. His pe­nis could not have grown more, but I was tense: ques­tion­ing what it meant, if we’d get back to­gether. We at­tempted sex un­til my vagina kind of… eroded.

But it’s still my most val­ued mishap, be­cause I learnt sex is 100% men­tal. If your head isn’t happy, it’s worth lis­ten­ing to.

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