Re­la­tion­ships & life The breakup rules. Plus, “My par­ents got di­vorced and now my mom wants to dis­cuss her love life with me.”

It’s hard to do, so let us help make it eas­ier.

Glamour (South Africa) - - News - If you bump into them at a party

The breakup

DO talk. It has to be face to face. If you’re hu­man enough to have sex, you’re hu­man enough to use your voice to tell some­one why you are break­ing their heart. But not in the mid­dle of a house party. DON’T say you don’t fancy them or that you never loved them. This is un­for­giv­able. DO be kind enough to let them hate you. DON’T say you need time on your own if you’ve met (or even iden­ti­fied) some­one else.

Post breakup

DO prac­tice to­tal cut-off if you are the dumpee. It will ei­ther win them back or get you to­wards be­ing over it. If you have some­thing to say, tell the Labrador. DON’T prac­tice to­tal cut­off (aka ghost­ing) if you are the dumper. It’s cruel. DO ex­er­cise. DON’T have any ac­cess to your phone af­ter al­co­hol in­take. DO be in­cred­i­bly smi­ley and de­lighted to see them. Say, “You look so great!” fol­lowed by a swift exit. This is par­tic­u­larly true if you feel hard done by. Smoul­der­ing and flounc­ing may feel sat­is­fy­ing, but it makes you look bad and makes them think, ‘Thank God I’m not with that ma­niac,’ rather than, ‘She was so much fun. I miss that.’ DON’T sleep with them. This won’t feel good for long. If they want to have you, let them chase. This is true of men and women. They can’t miss you if you don’t run away. DON’T get heav­ily drunk. Or cry. Or both. Ever.

When stuff hap­pens

DO tell your most re­cent ex if you’re get­ting mar­ried or hav­ing a baby. It needs to come from you. DON’T arrange to meet them to tell them this. A phone call will do.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa

© PressReader. All rights reserved.